E: michele@fiercelyfreshlife.com
 

I had a fabulous Mothers Day, and I still feel like a failure.

Mothers Day 2018

Even after a fabulous Mothers Day, I still feel like a total failure {I thought I was supposed to get a day off or something}.

Why? Because I'm not doing a good enough job {According to who?!?!}

When you’re a mom, single or married, you don’t get a day off, no matter what anyone says. Food still needs to be cooked, dishes still need to be done, laundry still needs to get washed {ran out of underwear…again}, and kids still fight over stupid shit. There's always something to do, or something that needs to be redone because it wasn't done right the first time. Perfection can be a real bitch!

So, if all the usual still happens, why do we have this expectation that the world stops when we have a day set aside for us?

Because we still think the outside world is needed to tell us that we do is enough and that we are enough.

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The thing is…WE’RE ALREADY ENOUGH!

We bust our asses to give our families the best possible lives. We bend over backwards to give them what we, or they, think they need, even to our detriment. Maybe we’re looking for their approval, their love. Maybe we’re just looking for a little acknowledgment. Either way, we just want everyone, including ourselves, to be happy. Happiness, though, is something one can only find within themselves.

Kids are the perfect example of finding happiness inside. My kids may get pissed at me for not letting them buy the latest video game, or the newest this, the coolest that. Yet it never fails, ten minutes later they’re all up in my grill giving me hugs and kisses and telling me they love me. I’m sure as they get older this may change, and it’s my responsibility as their parent to guide them in such a way that they don’t turn into the assholes that think they can have whatever they want whenever they want it. Even when they get disappointed, they’re still able to find their happy.

And so can we!

Part of being a mom and guiding them through life is knowing that I am going to fail sometimes.

I saw in one of my boys classroom a cute little sign that said FAIL-First Attempt In Learning. That struck me as pretty damn awesome. My immediate thought was it’s totally ok to fail. When I do, I just get back up and keep going. My kids taught me that, among other things.

When I shared this with one of my mom friends she said “even if you need a second attempt, it’s still ok because then you can SAIL your way to success” {Second Attempt In Learning…see what she did there?! She’s a genius. Of course she is, she’s my friend.}

So when you’re feeling like a complete failure for not feeding your kids perfectly healthy diets, for not getting them to bed at a decent hour, for not buying them everything they want, for not signing them up for every damn activity they want to do, know that…

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!

It’s ok to tell them “Suck it up Buttercup! You're not going to get your way this time."

You know what else is ok…taking any damn day you want and saying “it’s my day off”.

Feeling alone in your momming adventure?

We all do things a bit differently, and that is totally ok too! Sometimes what worked for us before no longer works. If you'd like help figuring out new ways of doing things give me a call. We'll dive in to find how you do what you do and why you do it. I'd love to hear from you!

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4 Comments

  1. Christina on May 15, 2018 at 12:54 pm

    I don’t have children but I have vivid memories of my mom’s busy life. We were 3 (including a Dad who was loving the bottle more than us). She never had a minute to herself. She often worked 3 jobs to make ends meet. Not to speak from all the worries and yet .. somehow she managed to give as stability and love in a household where alcohol was reigning. I command any mom who has additional challenges on her plate because I think just raising children without any other “chores” is plenty to handle.

    • Michele Madrigal on May 16, 2018 at 9:39 pm

      The lives we live are “perfect” for us, no matter what may show up. Even the “tragedies” come bearing gifts. Motherhood is the most challenging thing I’ve ever done, the most rewarding, and the most insane. Like most mom’s I’m sure, I wouldn’t change a thing.

  2. Lee on May 15, 2018 at 2:39 pm

    I find it funny to think I did not do a good enough job for my parents while growing up. I remember I wasn’t the best kid a Mom could have but she still busted her butt to make sure my brother and I were taken care of. I know only taking my Mom out to a breakfast or lunch for Mother’s Day is nowhere near enough to express how much I owe to my mom for doing everything to raise us,, but that’s all I’m able to do for now. Thanks for sharing and Happy Mother’s day to you!

    • Michele Madrigal on May 16, 2018 at 9:37 pm

      The thing is, Lee, that when we’re kids we are living the freest we will ever live. Free from all the programming that begins early in our lives. We moms do our very best to give our kids the best programming possible, and the outer world doesn’t always match what we’re trying to teach. Bottom line is this…we are all doing the best we can with what we have in any given moment. Just like you are doing the best you can by taking your mom out for Mother’s Day. I’m sure your mom would agree, anything you do for us to give us some acknowledgement is plenty enough.

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