8 ways to get unstuck and start living a Fiercely Fresh Life

8 ways to get unstuck and start living a Fiercely Fresh Life

I remember sitting in my reading chair in my bedroom, wondering what the hell I was going to do. I was stuck like never before, and I really wanted to get unstuck.

I had passed the point where my triple negative breast cancer was most likely to return and my doctor had cut our check up visits to once per year {I had been going to see her every three months, then every six. She had become the family member we see every so often.}. She was more and more confident that the things I was doing were working to keep cancer away, and so was I.

So now what?

That meant it was time to deal with the underlying issues that caused my cancer in the first place. Among the physical factors, there were the spiritual, mental, and emotional aspects that needed some attention. The depression and anxiety I had gone through the previous ten years had taken their toll, and since I could breath a little easier I wanted to dive in and find out why I couldn’t shake the shit that kept coming up.

I began my exploration by reading, then reading some more, then reading things I hadn’t read before, then doing things I hadn’t done in a very long time, then doing things I hadn’t ever done before. I slowly but surely started taking action.

In addition to taking action to get unstuck, I began working on my mindset and unconscious programming.

I had learned so much about the unconscious mind and realizing just how much shit was stuck in there. As I continued to learn how to reprogram my brain I learned some really great ways to create the life I wanted.

These are eight ways I began to get unstuck and start living my Fiercely Fresh Life, and how you can begin to live yours too.

  • Let go of the outcome.

I began creating a picture of the life I wanted. I began setting goals. Then I surrendered it all over the the Universe to let it handle all the details of how I was going to get what I wanted.

  • Get rid of the should’s.

The word “should” kept coming up over and over. What “should” I do with my life? How “should” I be? What “should” I have? Well, I started to look at what I needed instead of all the “should’s”.

  • Use your emotions as a GPS to guide you to what you need to learn.

Our emotions are there for a reason. Despite what you may think it’s not to hijack us and turn us into raving lunatics, as much fun as that may be sometimes. I started personifying my emotions when they came up and having a conversation with them. Angry Annie and I had many conversations. I also learned how to deal with my emotions in the moment rather than allowing them to add to the baggage I was already carrying around. I’m developing an online course to help you do the same.

  • Ask for help.

Keep your sights on the results you’re looking for and the changes you want to make, instead of the excuses that keep you stuck. Asking for help can help you find resources you never knew where there. The more you ask for help, the more opportunities and resources start coming out of the wood works.

  • Get out of the weeds.

If you’re feeling anxiety it’s because you’re focused on all the things you need to do to get you to the future you want. When you look at all the things it can get overwhelming. Come back to the present and look at the big picture.

  • Connect to your Higher Self.

Connecting to the part of you that has all the answers, and trusting her more often, will help you make the decisions you need to move you in the direction you want to go, then take the actions you’re guided to take.

  • Embrace progress, not perfection and imperfectly perfect/perfectly imperfect.

Life is all about learning and growing. Work toward making progress and you’ll move forward more quickly. And stop beating yourself up for everything, right now!

  • Turn your frown upside down.

What’s the opposite of upside down? Rightside up! More specifically, when a negative thought comes up, stop it in it’s tracks and turn it around. We call this reframing in NLP. Take on a new perspective. Open your eyes and heart to the positive, the opposite of negative.

I’m not saying it’s going to be easy to implement all eight of these tips and get you unstuck. What I am saying is if you take one at a time, sooner or later you’re going to wake up with the life you keep saying you want. Making changes doesn’t have to be hard. You don’t need the “go big or go home” mentality. Making small changes in your programming by following these eight tips will lead you in the right direction.

Wanna know more about baggage?

I talked about learning from your emotions instead of adding them to the baggage you’re already carrying. Would you like to know more about that baggage and what it’s making you do? Contact me for a free Discovery Call to find out.


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Yes please!!!

Get me the *bleep* off this ride!!!

Get me the *bleep* off this ride!!!

Are you tired of riding the rollercoaster of life? One minute you’re on top of the world kicking ass and the next minute you’re diving into the pint of ice cream to smother the feelings of inadequacy {because ice cream heals all wounds}.

You’re adrenaline is either pulsing through your veins or its crashing down to Earth making you feel like the slug life is the way to go.

Do you want the fuck off the ride?!

Oooorrrrr would you like to know how to actually ENJOY the ride?

I’ve got a little secret…it’s actually pretty easy to throw your hands up in the air, scream with laughter, let the wind blow through your hair and enjoy the ride. I’ve figured out some really simple ways to deal with the shit life throws at me, and I’d love to share them with you. That’s why I’ve developed this 7-day challenge.

During our time together, you will learn how to navigate the ups, downs and loop-da-loops that come with life. These things are gonna happen no matter what you, do so you may as well learn how to lean into the ride and have some fun.

 

What can you expect?

  • A simple daily exercise sent to your inbox {don’t worry, I like to keep things simple and easy}.
  • In our private FB group you’ll share with us the things you’ve discovered and tell us how the exercise was for you.
  • Everyone participating in this challenge will make the pledge to keep this a safe, loving, and nurturing place to be.

 

By the end of the challenge you will have practical, easy to use tools to help you change the behaviors that keep you from enjoying the ride of life. You are going to get a new level of awareness that opens up the freedom for you to choose who and how you want to be.


This FREE 7 day challenge has the potential to completely change your life!

Sign up today!

 

Ready to join the 7-day Enjoy The Ride Challenge?

By taking this challenge you are setting yourself up to start the momentum you need to transform your life. Taking easy baby steps gets the ball rolling. Join me today for that little nudge.


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I found the key to enlightenment!

Funderland Icee boys

I found it you guys!!! The key to enlightenment. 

As I was waking up this morning, lying in bed, setting my intention for the day and it totally hit me! The last few days I’ve immersed myself in the fun of summer, the love and connection I have for my boys, and the love and connection I have for one of my very best friends. We went to a San Franstinktown (if you’ve seen Inside Out as many times as I have you’ll completely understand that I mean nothing by this 😉 ) Giants game on Wednesday. It was their first ever major league baseball game. We even got to go down on the infield near the dugout so they could see things up close. We got tickets from their Jr. Giants little league, which has been another great adventure for us this summer.

After the game we went back to Auntie Wendy and Uncle Eric’s house for some relief from the heat in their pool. Getting to spend time with my soul family while watching my boys is priceless. I almost didn’t get to do things like this because of my breast cancer diagnosis. But the Universe has bigger plans for me and this connection with myself and others is part of that plan, I know it.

On Thursday Wendy and I took the boys to Funderland, a local childrens amusement park. They got their unlimited ride wrist bands and ran in opposite directions, hence Auntie Wendy’s presence. The boys were in playtime heaven. I think they rode each ride 10 times each. The above picture was during our break time so they could catch their breath. Once the weather started heating up again it was back to the house for more swimming. 

Part of my role as mother is to protect my kids. Another part is to provide for them. I provide the necessities as well as the experiences and adventures for them to learn things on their own. The vision I have for my life is to provide as many adventures for them as possible while they are young. So many of my friends who’s children are grown tell me to enjoy my boys while they’re young. As much as they drive me insane, I cherish them too. 

So now you’re probably wondering what all this has to do with the key to enlightenment. Well, I realized something…I had the time of my life the last couple of days. Then I realized why…I didn’t give a fuck what anyone else thought or said about what I was doing. I lived in the sacred present moment more than I ever have in my entire life. For me, not giving a fuck about anything but what I was doing opened the door for me to find the joy in my life.

In Buddhism enlightenment is a final spiritual state marked by the absence of desire or suffering (thank you Websters dictionary). I was finally not suffering from anything nor was I wanting anything but what was right in front of me. I looked at my boys and my friends and realized that they are THE only thing in this world that matter. 

Enlightenment is different for everyone. According to Websters it is the state of having knowledge or understanding. To me that makes enlightenment subjective and personal. What’s enlightening for me may not be enlightening for you, vice versa, and that’s ok. As humans we put enlightenment just out of reach. It’s for those who sit on a mountain and meditate for 23 hours a day. That’s so far from the truth. It is within each of us. It’s a part of our wholeness. It’s getting out there and living life on your terms. It’s the little things.

I’d like to know…what’s enlightenment to you? What do you do that enlightens your life? Share with me in the comments and let’s see what we have in common. I promise it’s more than we realize.

With love and light.

Do you need help finding what enlightenment means to you?

Contact me for a consultation call to find the things that light you up. 


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Three easy tips for letting go

Tamara's waterfall

I’ve been on this spiritual journey for 41 years now. I’ve been AWARE of that journey for the past few years. Waking up to the magic and miracles that exist all around us isn’t as easy as it may sound. There’s a lot of actual work. There’s visions to rediscover, goals to set, intentions to be brought up, breaking old patterns and practicing new, more positive ones. Sometimes it takes a little nudge to get us roused. If you’re like me, it takes a big rig and a bulldozer (I was totally going to say wrecking ball, but that instantly reminded me of Miley and I just can’t go there right now;) ). My big rig was a breast cancer diagnosis. My bulldozer was my husband unexpectedly passing away about a month after that. Yeah, the Universe knows I’m hard-headed so it threw out all the stops.

But, strange as it may seem, it isn’t the big things that keep me from moving forward. There have been many big things that have knocked me down throughout my life and I’ve gotten back up every time. It’s the little things that keep pushing me to my breaking point. It’s the little things that I can’t seem to let go of. And of course in the grand scheme of things, these little things don’t matter one bit, yet they trigger me until I’m insane.

It’s been my experience that taking baby steps is what helps to make you successful. That and a whole lot of patience, but I digress. If I keep the idea of baby steps in my awareness I can break my more deep seeded issues into little things that don’t seem quite as big. As I look into letting go of the smaller things, I find that the bigger ones aren’t all that big, making them a hell of a lot more easy to handle. But, since frustrations, annoyances and irritations are everywhere we have to look at “how” we can let them go. Well, I’ve got three easy tips to help.

  1. If you have kids, watch them without letting them know you’re watching them. When kids don’t know they’re being watched they are their true selves naturally. Especially when they’re really young and unconditioned. But watching the innocence of a child and how easily they let things go will help you realize just how easy the process is. If your kids are the irritation you’re trying to deal with, find a way to take a 5 minute time out for yourself. Take 3-5 deep cleansing breaths, in through your nose and out your mouth. On the in breath silently say to yourself “let”. On the out breath, say “go”. The breaths by themselves will help calm you, but adding a little mantra can help a little more. If you don’t have kids, that’s ok, borrow someone else’s, or watch some animals. Animals have a natural tendency to let things go too.
  2. Rediscover the vision you had for you life before everything started pissing you off. Connect with your inner wisdom to see what it is you really want in your life. Look at each area separately-health and body, friends and family, intimate relationships, home and surroundings, fun and leisure, spirituality, career, and money and finance. Journal about what you see and hear, how it all makes you feel. Get crystal clear on what you want your life to look like. Your vision has always been there, you just need to rediscover it. It’s subject to change as your circumstances change but overall you’re in charge of creating your life based on your vision. The clearer that vision, the easier it is to let go of the things that won’t get your there.
  3. Getting out into nature is a very powerful tool that is easily accessible and free. When you get out into nature you are reconnecting with the Source energy that courses through your body. You get to observe how easily Mother Nature let’s things go. Look at the waterfall in the photo above. It comes upon another layer of rock, which potentially could stop it’s flow, but it simply moves over and around it, continuing on it’s path with purpose and confidence. And since we are all of the same energy that means you too can easily let things go. One of my favorite things to do is walk around barefoot. I’m not too fond of shoes actually. Each step I take connects me to the power of Gaia, who is always there to support me, even when I’m being a bit of a shithead and making disempowering choices. She’s really quite forgiving. Ooohhhhhh…another blog post. 

So there you have it. Three easy steps to remind you how easy it is to actually let things go that no longer serve you. These are tools you can use any time which is so awesome because just when you let one thing go, here comes another.

With lots of love!

Photo taken by Tamara Bailey. Tamara is an EMS dispatcher who loves to capture what she sees through her hobby of photography. Nature is her favorite subject to shoot. She loves to go out on a hike, explore and experiment with filters, lenses, and patience. Her photos are raw and full of the beauty that we tend to take for granted. She has generously shared this photo with me as a co-creation between souls. Thank you Tamara for sharing your gift!

3 Easy Tips For Letting Go

Need help connecting to your inner wisdom to rediscover your vision?

Part of the beauty of this human experience is that we get to go through it together, we’re not alone. If you need help connecting to your inner wisdom where your vision and answers are, contact me for a free consultation. I’d love to walk this journey with you.


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The scariest thing I’ve ever done, and you’re probably thinking the same thing

Over the last few years I’ve come to know myself so much better. I’ve come to dive deeper into my psyche than I ever have before. I’ve started to see the magic that is life. It’s been such a beautiful journey. But it’s also been the scariest thing I’ve ever done. Why? Because I was conditioned to not trust magic. I was conditioned to only “believe what you see”. Can I see my mom who was killed by drunk drivers when I was 18 years old? No, but I know she’s there. How? Every time I’m alone and I smell cigarette smoke I know she’s stopping by to say hi. Well, either her or my grandfather, they both smoked like chimneys. Can I see my husband who died unexpectedly after I was diagnosed with breast cancer? No, but I know he’s there. Every time I hear “Running” from No Doubt, our wedding song, I know he’s telling me he still loves me from the other side. I believe with all my heart that they are both traveling between worlds to support me while I’m still here. If I were to see either one of them I’d probably flip my lid, but that’s because I’ve been conditioned to believe only crazy people see spirits. That belief has been challenged by many of my psychic and clairvoyant friends. Part of me is jealous that they can see such things and part of me would be scared shitless to have that ability. The thing is, I believe, we all have this ability, we just have to be open to seeing something other than the Hollywood view.

My first encounter with spirituality was more religiously based. I was baptized and raised Catholic. My mom was the good little Catholic girl, until she ended up pregnant with me at 17. That didn’t stop my grandparents from influencing us while living with them for many years. I even have the pictures to prove I’d gone through Communion. Such a sweet little girl in a white dress. However, I remember sitting through Sunday Mass with my grandparents thinking that this couldn’t be the only way to think. It felt very hypocritical to me, even as a little girl. I heard the sermons then saw the churchgoers living life a little differently. Once my mom married my step-dad we no longer attended church regularly so many of the beliefs I held were quickly replaced.

In college I took a World Religions course. We learned about Buddhism, Taoism, Confucianism, Catholicism, Christianity, and some others that I can’t even remember now. I felt like so much had been hidden from me throughout my life. The mind, body, spirit connection made so much sense to me. To honor and cherish that connection felt natural and organic to me, not forced like Catholicism. I felt like this is what my God was telling me was the truth. I began seeing religion as an ego-construct to separate us from each other. I began feeling the pull of my spirit toward spirituality rather than religion. Once I made that distinction magic started appearing in my life, but my eyes weren’t yet open to it.

So I graduated college and began my life. I eventually met my husband and we started our family. Despite doing everything I was supposed to do according to our society, I felt completely disconnected. Disconnected from my family, from my life, and mainly from myself. I lived with depression for so long that it became my “normal”. It’s what I had grown to know, to be comfortable with. Little did I know things were about to get shaken up and I was being hurled out of my comfort zone. In a matter of three years my entire world was flipped upside down and inside out. My husband became an addict, I lost my job as a paramedic, we lost our first home, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, then, to top it all off, a month after my diagnosis I lost my husband. I was being sent message after message and I couldn’t ignore them anymore.

That’s when I surrendered to whatever Higher Power was in place. I had no idea who or what that Higher Power was but I threw up the white flag anyway. That was the first time I knew a power greater than myself, a magical power, was in charge. That’s also when I started listening to the whispers I was hearing. Those whispers had become dull roars and I started listening to what they were telling me. I now know those whispers to be my own inner wisdom leading me along the path I was meant to walk. I’ve heard them throughout my life but ignored them, like most humans. I dismissed them as nonsense, because I was conditioned to listen to others, especially my elders.

Listening to those whispers was the first step in following my intuition. Now what I do when I hear those whispers is take a step back and become the observer. I observe what’s going on, what’s taking place in front of me. I ask myself a ton of questions. I tune in to how my physical body is feeling. If I’m feeling anxious or fearful I know I have some personal work to do. If I’m calm and peaceful, that’s my cue to take action, even if it’s imperfect action. Things still get scary, I’m human. But the more I connect with my higher self and the magic that exists in our Universe, the more I’m able to be led my my intuition and live the life I truly enjoy living. I ignored my intuition the first three and a half decades of my life and things didn’t go so well. I think it’s time to see where I can go if I actually take the time to listen and be guided by the magic that truly is.

With tons of love.

Imperfect action is better than no action

I’m sitting here “working” right now in my home office when I realize that I’m doing exactly what I set out to do a couple of years ago. I have a vision for my life that includes setting my own schedule so that I can be a present mom for my two little boys, working from the comfort of my own beautiful home, helping support people where they are in life, and finding the harmony in business and self-care. My life has many facets, but they are fitting together quite nicely. I’m surrounded by love everywhere I go and I’m finding inspiration that I thought would elude me. It’s kind of funny how you set an intention, put it out there, take some imperfect action, and what you receive is way more than you could have ever imagined.

I say imperfect action because even imperfect action is better than no action. I heard that from a colleague of mine and it hit me upside the head. That’s usually how inspiration happens for me. That’s also how I learn lessons. So how did I get to where I am? By taking little imperfect actions. Every. Single. Day. As easy as it is to get “stuck” in life, it’s just as easy to get “unstuck”. Take simple actions, imperfect actions, every single day. Those actions will add up over time. Still skeptical? Read the book The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson. I read that book earlier this year but began my upward climb out of depression before I even knew it existed.

When I read that book it all made sense as to how I got to where I am today. At first my imperfect action was to simply get out of bed. When you suffer from debilitating depression and anxiety getting out of bed is the hardest thing one can do. The amount of energy it takes to actually throw the warm cozy covers off of your body can be too much to bear. Some days I’d get up long enough to get my kids to school then I’d come home and crawl right back into my nest. And of course when you have three fur babies to keep you company it’s even easier. But I mustered enough strength to do it. I put my feet on the floor and away I went.

I started taking other actions too. Those whispers in my head kept telling me to do things differently than I had been. Instead of crawling back in bed, crawl onto the couch. Even if I was having a Netflix marathon (thank you inventor of Netflix) I wasn’t in bed sulking. I was out of my bedroom participating in something other than self-pity. Well, ok, the self-pity was still there but I had done something different. One baby step at a time, ok. Then one day I decided to read a book instead of watch TV. I had watched every episode of every show I had been interested in anyway so now it was time to do something different, again. Somewhere along the line I had made the unconscious choice to change my life which allowed me to start making more empowering conscious choices. Before I knew it, I was participating in life again. And look at me now, taking the world by storm.

The journey out of depression isn’t easy, but it can be done. Because I’m human I still beat myself up over certain things, but I’m much more inclined to listen to the voice that tells me to be gentle with my humanity. It takes practice, but by showing up every single day, progress is being made. After all, it’s about progress, not perfection.

With so much love!