R.A.C.E. your way to a growth mindset

R.A.C.E. your way to a growth mindset

What’s the old saying about guarantees? There’s only 2 things in life that are guaranteed-death and taxes? There is one more…change. Nothing stays the same forever, not even the stars in the sky.

One of the most powerful ways to create change is to shift one’s perspective. When you go from a fixed negative mindset to one of growth and expansion, you create possibility in your life. You open doors and windows that were once closed. You get to dust off the cobwebs and set the wheels of creation into motion.

Someone with a fixed mindset will avoid challenges, they stay in their comfort zone. They typically give up easily, allowing others to overstep boundaries, then become resentful. They either ignore feedback or take it as a personal attack. They become threatened by other people’s success, or even jealous of it. They try too hard and end of overcompensating for their insecurities, only to have things blow up in their face like when a beach ball pops up out of the water.

Someone with a growth mindset embraces challenges, they run towards them because they know they will become stronger in the process. They give their best effort, always, and they learn from feedback because they don’t see it as them failing at something or being attacked, they see it as an opportunity for learning. They are inspired by other people’s success and they model that success. If they don’t know something, they figure out how to gain the knowledge to get the job done.

The big question is, how does one develop a growth mindset? There’s a few things I share with my family, friends and clients that I’ve learned along the way. These tips have helped me come out of the depths of depression and anxiety so I can step into a place of learning and growth, a place where I have more emotional intelligence. This place is where I learn from my emotions instead of allowing my emotions to get the best of me. 

There’s even an easy way to remember these tips…R.A.C.E.

Recapitulation

  • A simple and effective way to start looking at things differently is to notice the positive things that happen throughout your day. Right before bed take a few minutes to do a “recap” of your day. Play a movie in your mind from the moment you wake up until the moment you begin the exercise. Notice all the positive things that occurred-the yummy smell of your coffee as you get ready for work, the smile on a stranger’s face, the ease of your commute. Consciously look for the positive.

Acknowledge and celebrate

  • Anytime something positive happens, stop and acknowledge it. Celebrate it. Do the same thing with not-so-positive things. If something happens that throws you off, find the positive in it. This world if full of duality so if there’s something you perceive as negative, start turning things around and find the other side of the spectrum.

Change your dialogue

  • There’s a saying in the Hawaiian culture that when translated says, “In the word there is life, and in the word there is death.” The words we use have energy and vibration that help us create our reality. If you are seeing nothing but negativity, try speaking in a more positive way and see what happens.

Encourage failure

  • There really is no such thing as failure if you really think about it. When you take what happens as feedback, you can course correct so the perceived “failure” becomes a great learning so you can grow.

Now that you know how to change from a fixed mindset to one where you’ll learn and grow, you’ll be able to create the life you’ve always wanted. You’ll create a life abundantly filled with joy and purpose, whatever those look like for you. 

8 ways to get unstuck and start living a Fiercely Fresh Life

8 ways to get unstuck and start living a Fiercely Fresh Life

I remember sitting in my reading chair in my bedroom, wondering what the hell I was going to do. I was stuck like never before, and I really wanted to get unstuck.

I had passed the point where my triple negative breast cancer was most likely to return and my doctor had cut our check up visits to once per year {I had been going to see her every three months, then every six. She had become the family member we see every so often.}. She was more and more confident that the things I was doing were working to keep cancer away, and so was I.

So now what?

That meant it was time to deal with the underlying issues that caused my cancer in the first place. Among the physical factors, there were the spiritual, mental, and emotional aspects that needed some attention. The depression and anxiety I had gone through the previous ten years had taken their toll, and since I could breath a little easier I wanted to dive in and find out why I couldn’t shake the shit that kept coming up.

I began my exploration by reading, then reading some more, then reading things I hadn’t read before, then doing things I hadn’t done in a very long time, then doing things I hadn’t ever done before. I slowly but surely started taking action.

In addition to taking action to get unstuck, I began working on my mindset and unconscious programming.

I had learned so much about the unconscious mind and realizing just how much shit was stuck in there. As I continued to learn how to reprogram my brain I learned some really great ways to create the life I wanted.

These are eight ways I began to get unstuck and start living my Fiercely Fresh Life, and how you can begin to live yours too.

 

Let go of the outcome.

I began creating a picture of the life I wanted. I began setting goals. Then I surrendered it all over the the Universe to let it handle all the details of how I was going to get what I wanted.

 

Get rid of the should’s.

The word “should” kept coming up over and over. What “should” I do with my life? How “should” I be? What “should” I have? Well, I started to look at what I needed instead of all the “should’s”.

 

Use your emotions as a GPS to guide you to what you need to learn.

Our emotions are there for a reason. Despite what you may think it’s not to hijack us and turn us into raving lunatics, as much fun as that may be sometimes. I started personifying my emotions when they came up and having a conversation with them. Angry Annie and I had many conversations. I also learned how to deal with my emotions in the moment rather than allowing them to add to the baggage I was already carrying around. I’m developing an online course to help you do the same.

 

Ask for help.

Keep your sights on the results you’re looking for and the changes you want to make, instead of the excuses that keep you stuck. Asking for help can help you find resources you never knew where there. The more you ask for help, the more opportunities and resources start coming out of the wood works.

 

Get out of the weeds.

If you’re feeling anxiety it’s because you’re focused on all the things you need to do to get you to the future you want. When you look at all the things it can get overwhelming. Come back to the present and look at the big picture.

 

Connect to your Higher Self.

Connecting to the part of you that has all the answers, and trusting her more often, will help you make the decisions you need to move you in the direction you want to go, then take the actions you’re guided to take.

 

Embrace progress, not perfection and imperfectly perfect/perfectly imperfect.

Life is all about learning and growing. Work toward making progress and you’ll move forward more quickly. And stop beating yourself up for everything, right now!

 

Turn your frown upside down.

What’s the opposite of upside down? Rightside up! More specifically, when a negative thought comes up, stop it in it’s tracks and turn it around. We call this reframing in NLP. Take on a new perspective. Open your eyes and heart to the positive, the opposite of negative.

I’m not saying it’s going to be easy to implement all eight of these tips and get you unstuck. What I am saying is if you take one at a time, sooner or later you’re going to wake up with the life you keep saying you want. Making changes doesn’t have to be hard. You don’t need the “go big or go home” mentality. Making small changes in your programming by following these eight tips will lead you in the right direction.

 

Wanna know more about baggage?

I talked about learning from your emotions instead of adding them to the baggage you’re already carrying. Would you like to know more about that baggage and what it’s making you do? Contact me for a free Discovery Call to find out.


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How to create your own unique path

How to create your own unique path

How would you like to create your own unique path?

Would you like to quit living according to the status quo, quit living Groundhog day over and over?

Then have I got some tips for you!!!

Anytime we are trying to create change in our lives it takes a few things. The first thing that comes to mind for me is courage.

I sat in my room one night, sobbing uncontrollably, not knowing how the hell to get off the floor. Suddenly, there was a shift. I took a deep breath, stood up, and like the Cowardly Lion screamed, “Put ‘em up! Put ‘em up!”.

I knew there was going to be a battle.

It was going to be hard.

I had no idea how to create my own unique path.

I also didn’t know just how fucking amazing it would be to finally be free of my demons and heal my wounds.

So I put one foot in front of the other and started walking, making the smallest of changes at first {actually, I slept on it for the night, that way my unconscious mind had a chance to process all the shit that was running through my head, then the next morning I got up and started walking.}.

See, I was a survivor. I had survived Triple Negative Breast Cancer {an aggressive beast and the most difficult to treat and keep from coming back}. It’s only co-incident that I’m writing this blog for you, all about creating your own unique path, on the eve of what would’ve been my 13th wedding anniversary. I say would’ve been because my husband unexpectedly passed away six weeks after I was diagnosed. Again, survivor.

According to Jeff Olson in The Slight Edge, “And if you can survive, then you can succeed. You don’t need to do some brilliant, impossible thing. You don’t need to learn some insanely difficult skills, or have some genius-level brainstorm of an innovative idea. All you have to do is keep doing the things that got you this far.”

But the things that had gotten me that far weren’t the things I knew I should be doing, so some things had to change.

If we want the change to be permanent, there are four things that are required.

These are four things you can do to create your own unique path!

 

Release the baggage you’ve been carrying around from your past.

Baggage is all the repressed negative emotions and limiting beliefs we carry with us through out our lives. An emotionally significant event occurs when we’re young, we don’t know how to process it, we develop some limiting belief about ourself {I’m not _____ enough, or some other bullshit} or the world, then our unconscious mind holds on to it until we’re ready to deal with it.

This is where the Mental and Emotional Release Technique® I use with my clients comes in. In a two day session we uncover the greater problem that was created by your thoughts about what was happening at the time. The really cool thing is that you don’t have to relive the actual event! Your unconscious mind has already saved it for you and knows exactly what to release.

 

Create a compelling vision for your life and set some goals according to what’s important to you.

There’s so many ways to do this. Visions boards, visualizations, meditations, journaling, on and on. How many of those actually align with what’s important to you though?

In a Breakthrough Session, we explore the things that are important to you-your values.

Our values are ingrained in us by the time we’re 5 {I’ve read as early as 2 as well.}. Once we release the baggage you’ve been carrying around, your values may shift a bit. That’s because some of the shit you’ve been carrying around may not even be yours. How would you know what’s important to you and WHY it’s important when someone else’s shit is in the way? Or your shit from long before you joined this time? How can you create your own unique path?!?!

Once you have your values in place you can start making decisions that are aligned with them, which will get you what you want and get you where you want to go a hell of a lot faster.

 

Stay focused on the picture you have in your mind for what you want your life to look like.

Once your baggage is out of the way and you’ve started using your values to get you where you want to go, it’s super important to stay focused.

One way to stay focused is to keep your values and vision you’ve created for yourself in plain sight every day and give them a little attention. Energy flows where attention goes! And do it with intention.

Another way to stay focused is to have some accountability with someone outside yourself. My suggestions would be to find a friend you know will keep you on the straight and narrow and be completely honest with you at all times, or invest in yourself and hire a coach who’s only job is to hold you accountable for the things you say you want and help you with the actions and tasks it will take to get you there. This is one of the things I do with my clients when they sign up for Integrative Coaching with me.

 

Take action, every day.

This one is completely up to you. Staying focused is up to you too, and I’m here to support you the best way I can. However, I can’t take action for you.

Are you 100% at cause for the things in your life, or are you a victim? {Here’s a little spoiler alert…you’re always at cause. It’s either out of creative responsibility or its out of “poor little me” victimhood. I was the poor little victim for so long!! I was exhausted.}

Remember, Jeff Olson said it doesn’t have to be some insanely difficult task. Compound interest doesn’t just work for money. It works for being more active, building a business from scratch, being who you want to be. Little actions done over and over, day in and day out, will eventually lead you to the greatest results. How do you think ants make their homes?

There you have it! Four ways to create lasting change. Four ways to create your own unique path. Now go take some baby steps to get you started.

Want help creating your unique path?

Contact me with any questions you have about a Breakthrough Session and Integrative Coaching with me. It will be the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself, your family, and the world.


I’m ready!

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Get some courage here

This is what happens when you tell the world to f*#% off.

This is what happens when you tell the world to f*#% off.

Have you ever wanted to tell the whole world to just fuck off?

Did you actually do it and follow through? For once in my life I did just that.

Last week was a rough week for me. At the beginning of the week I backed over my chihuahua. My best friend. The being that has been with me through all the shit I’ve gone through over the last ten years. To say I was devastated would be a total fucking understatement. The connection I had with Brode was the deepest, strongest connection I’ve ever had with another living being, maybe even my kids.

After taking care of his lifeless little body and helping my kids through this traumatic event, I decided I wasn’t going to do things the way I usually do.

When things get challenging for me mentally and emotionally I get busy doing. Anything and everything. I distract myself. Something in me knew I had to change this way of being so I could step into the way of being I really wanted to be.

As a life coach I’ve got lots of tools to help me get through difficult situations. I coach people on how to deal with their emotions and use them to educate themselves on the lessons life has for us. It was time to practice what I preach.

I did a lot of breathing, a lot of sleeping, some yoga, and a lot of ho’oponopono {This is a Hawaiian forgiveness process. I had to forgive myself for the guilt I felt for killing my best friend}. I leaned into the pain, the sadness, the depression {because that fucker tried to come back}.

The thing I did that had the most impact for me was to tell the world-my commitments, my responsibilities and my “shoulds”- to fuck off!

I did it in a much kinder, gentler way of course {except in my head}, and setting this boundary was so important. So was giving myself permission to check out for as long as I needed. Doing these gave me the courage I needed to feel every ounce of shit I was feeling.

Then I dove head first into every self-care practice I knew. The one that worked the best? A Breakthrough Session!

A fellow coach led me through the process, where my dog showed up multiple times. The last time he showed up, I had the biggest breakthrough of my life. He gifted me, and I gifted myself, with unconditional self-love and acceptance.

Talk about freedom!

Who would’ve thought that telling the world to fuck off would be so liberating?

Now obviously I’m not telling you to run out and start telling everyone to fuck off when you don’t want to do something.

What I am telling you is to give yourself the time and energy you need to get you through whatever it is you’re going through. I’m telling you to break the patterns that keep you spinning in the same spot over and over, living the same drama on a different day. I’m telling you to quit taking care of everyone else and take care of yourself, whatever that looks like, and let others know what you need.

Sometimes when we take a few steps back we’re able to take a running start to get us where we want to go.

You want to know what a Breakthrough Session is, don’t you?

If you’d like to know more about a Breakthrough Session so you too can take a leap forward, visit my website or contact me here. I’d be honored to be the one to jump with you.

BTS

Cause or effect. Which one are you?

Cause or effect. Either way, whether we want to believe it or not, we are at cause for everything in our lives. The good AND the bad.

In this video I share the equation that will help you see the results you want, the excuses you use that keep you stuck, and give you the opportunity to consciously choose which one you want to follow.

Be the alligator!

Now that you know the equation and have written down your excuses, refer to them every day. Keep them handy so you can refer to them often. When you know which excuse you’re using, it’s much easier to shift to a more positive action. Action is the only way you’re going to get the life you want. That’s being the co-creator.

 

Ready to find out more?

Speaking of more positive action…do you need to make some serious changes in your life so that you are the cause of all the greatness that shows up? Hit the button to schedule your free Orientation Call. Your extraordinary life is waiting.


Extraordinary life waiting…

Does this idea of taking responsibility make you a little afraid? I know it did with me at first. I’d love to help you see how powerful this concept is. Come follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and subscribe to my YouTube channel and I’ll show you that it’s not so scary after all. 

Why do I keep attracting the same (insert your noun here)?

I once asked a friend of mine, “why do i keep attracting the same type of guys?” I don’t even remember what her response was at the time but the answer that I was looking for has come to me recently. It was actually there all along, I just wasn’t ready to see it. The thing is we all have all the answers to all the questions we have within ourselves. We just need to be open to receiving them. That’s where the experiences of our lives come in. The circumstances and situations we find ourselves in bring so much education into our lives. We often think that things are happening TO us. Our car breaks down when we’ve run out of money for the month, other unexpected financial burdens come up, we get in a fight with a loved one, we injure ourselves somehow…all examples of “things” that happen in life. The list is obviously a lot longer than this but you get the point.

For me losing my job sucked really bad. Being diagnosed with breast cancer sucked really bad. Unexpectedly losing my husband sucked the worst! But each of these “horrible” events, and these are just the main three from the last 10 years, have taught me a lesson. I know in my heart I’m meant to support people in a loving and nurturing way, but I wasn’t meant to do it in the back of an ambulance. I tend to put others before myself but breast cancer taught me to take care of me first and foremost, or else I can’t help take care of others (you know the whole oxygen masks on planes story). Being left a widowed, single, breast cancer patient with two young boys has taught me to embrace my strengths, my tenacity, and my fierce badassness. The events in your life are there to teach you whatever lesson you need to learn too.

I’ve struggled recently with my past coming back to me to teach me another lesson. Our past will repeat itself until we are ready to learn what we need to learn. I knew all along that what was happening wasn’t what I wanted but it was what was in my highest good. It sucks to see others in pain and not be able to help. It’s what I did with my husband. To be a loving support for them is what I’m here to do, but not at the expense of my own sanity and divinity. In the past I would have kept up with the unhealthy habits that only led to more anxiety and depression.

I’ve worked very hard the past few years to release a lot of my past and learn what I’ve needed to learn so that I may move forward in life. I worked with Tris Thorp doing Mental and Emotional Release ® (MER) work with Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) recently. Since that time I’ve noticed how my being has been changed forever. I’ve seen past behaviors creep their way back into being which sent me back into anxiety and fear. Working with Tris however, has allowed me to be able to become the observer of my life and my behaviors on a whole new level. I’ve been able to stop myself in my tracks, change my perspective, and move on much more quickly than I ever have before. Being able to release the emotions that have kept me tethered to my past has been the greatest gift I could have ever received.

The MER and NLP work I’ve done with Tris and the shadow work I’ve done over the last couple of years have given me the tools I need to break free of the emotional bonds of the past so that I can spread my wings and fly with confidence that I’ve got this thing called life, no matter what gets thrown at me. I’ve been down the traditional route of medications to treat my anxiety and depression as well as my cancer. But the feeling of liberation has eluded me until I took responsibility for my life and started looking at how I was creating the life I was living. I can now attract the “guy” or the “money” or whatever else I want in life because I’ve learned how to work with the higher power that exists within me, the higher power that exists within us all, the higher power that already has all the answers we need, the higher power that’s connected to our unconscious.

If you are ready to liberate yourself from the past, if you’re ready to take responsibility for your life and create a future that you are excited about living, and if you’re ready to work with someone who’s going to be ruthlessly compassionate and open you to new perspectives click here. It would my pleasure and honor to walk along side you on your journey. I invite you to step into your power and your future in bigger ways. Take that first step out of your past by doing something different. May you have a beautiful day.

So much love and light! xo