8 ways to get unstuck and start living a Fiercely Fresh Life

8 ways to get unstuck and start living a Fiercely Fresh Life

I remember sitting in my reading chair in my bedroom, wondering what the hell I was going to do. I was stuck like never before, and I really wanted to get unstuck.

I had passed the point where my triple negative breast cancer was most likely to return and my doctor had cut our check up visits to once per year {I had been going to see her every three months, then every six. She had become the family member we see every so often.}. She was more and more confident that the things I was doing were working to keep cancer away, and so was I.

So now what?

That meant it was time to deal with the underlying issues that caused my cancer in the first place. Among the physical factors, there were the spiritual, mental, and emotional aspects that needed some attention. The depression and anxiety I had gone through the previous ten years had taken their toll, and since I could breath a little easier I wanted to dive in and find out why I couldn’t shake the shit that kept coming up.

I began my exploration by reading, then reading some more, then reading things I hadn’t read before, then doing things I hadn’t done in a very long time, then doing things I hadn’t ever done before. I slowly but surely started taking action.

In addition to taking action to get unstuck, I began working on my mindset and unconscious programming.

I had learned so much about the unconscious mind and realizing just how much shit was stuck in there. As I continued to learn how to reprogram my brain I learned some really great ways to create the life I wanted.

These are eight ways I began to get unstuck and start living my Fiercely Fresh Life, and how you can begin to live yours too.

 

Let go of the outcome.

I began creating a picture of the life I wanted. I began setting goals. Then I surrendered it all over the the Universe to let it handle all the details of how I was going to get what I wanted.

 

Get rid of the should’s.

The word “should” kept coming up over and over. What “should” I do with my life? How “should” I be? What “should” I have? Well, I started to look at what I needed instead of all the “should’s”.

 

Use your emotions as a GPS to guide you to what you need to learn.

Our emotions are there for a reason. Despite what you may think it’s not to hijack us and turn us into raving lunatics, as much fun as that may be sometimes. I started personifying my emotions when they came up and having a conversation with them. Angry Annie and I had many conversations. I also learned how to deal with my emotions in the moment rather than allowing them to add to the baggage I was already carrying around. I’m developing an online course to help you do the same.

 

Ask for help.

Keep your sights on the results you’re looking for and the changes you want to make, instead of the excuses that keep you stuck. Asking for help can help you find resources you never knew where there. The more you ask for help, the more opportunities and resources start coming out of the wood works.

 

Get out of the weeds.

If you’re feeling anxiety it’s because you’re focused on all the things you need to do to get you to the future you want. When you look at all the things it can get overwhelming. Come back to the present and look at the big picture.

 

Connect to your Higher Self.

Connecting to the part of you that has all the answers, and trusting her more often, will help you make the decisions you need to move you in the direction you want to go, then take the actions you’re guided to take.

 

Embrace progress, not perfection and imperfectly perfect/perfectly imperfect.

Life is all about learning and growing. Work toward making progress and you’ll move forward more quickly. And stop beating yourself up for everything, right now!

 

Turn your frown upside down.

What’s the opposite of upside down? Rightside up! More specifically, when a negative thought comes up, stop it in it’s tracks and turn it around. We call this reframing in NLP. Take on a new perspective. Open your eyes and heart to the positive, the opposite of negative.

I’m not saying it’s going to be easy to implement all eight of these tips and get you unstuck. What I am saying is if you take one at a time, sooner or later you’re going to wake up with the life you keep saying you want. Making changes doesn’t have to be hard. You don’t need the “go big or go home” mentality. Making small changes in your programming by following these eight tips will lead you in the right direction.

 

Wanna know more about baggage?

I talked about learning from your emotions instead of adding them to the baggage you’re already carrying. Would you like to know more about that baggage and what it’s making you do? Contact me for a free Discovery Call to find out.


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This is what happens when you tell the world to f*#% off.

This is what happens when you tell the world to f*#% off.

Have you ever wanted to tell the whole world to just fuck off?

Did you actually do it and follow through? For once in my life I did just that.

Last week was a rough week for me. At the beginning of the week I backed over my chihuahua. My best friend. The being that has been with me through all the shit I’ve gone through over the last ten years. To say I was devastated would be a total fucking understatement. The connection I had with Brode was the deepest, strongest connection I’ve ever had with another living being, maybe even my kids.

After taking care of his lifeless little body and helping my kids through this traumatic event, I decided I wasn’t going to do things the way I usually do.

When things get challenging for me mentally and emotionally I get busy doing. Anything and everything. I distract myself. Something in me knew I had to change this way of being so I could step into the way of being I really wanted to be.

As a life coach I’ve got lots of tools to help me get through difficult situations. I coach people on how to deal with their emotions and use them to educate themselves on the lessons life has for us. It was time to practice what I preach.

I did a lot of breathing, a lot of sleeping, some yoga, and a lot of ho’oponopono {This is a Hawaiian forgiveness process. I had to forgive myself for the guilt I felt for killing my best friend}. I leaned into the pain, the sadness, the depression {because that fucker tried to come back}.

The thing I did that had the most impact for me was to tell the world-my commitments, my responsibilities and my “shoulds”- to fuck off!

I did it in a much kinder, gentler way of course {except in my head}, and setting this boundary was so important. So was giving myself permission to check out for as long as I needed. Doing these gave me the courage I needed to feel every ounce of shit I was feeling.

Then I dove head first into every self-care practice I knew. The one that worked the best? A Breakthrough Session!

A fellow coach led me through the process, where my dog showed up multiple times. The last time he showed up, I had the biggest breakthrough of my life. He gifted me, and I gifted myself, with unconditional self-love and acceptance.

Talk about freedom!

Who would’ve thought that telling the world to fuck off would be so liberating?

Now obviously I’m not telling you to run out and start telling everyone to fuck off when you don’t want to do something.

What I am telling you is to give yourself the time and energy you need to get you through whatever it is you’re going through. I’m telling you to break the patterns that keep you spinning in the same spot over and over, living the same drama on a different day. I’m telling you to quit taking care of everyone else and take care of yourself, whatever that looks like, and let others know what you need.

Sometimes when we take a few steps back we’re able to take a running start to get us where we want to go.

You want to know what a Breakthrough Session is, don’t you?

If you’d like to know more about a Breakthrough Session so you too can take a leap forward, visit my website or contact me here. I’d be honored to be the one to jump with you.

BTS

How to do the “conscious parenting” thing when your kids are being a**holes.

How to do the “conscious parenting” thing when your kids are being a**holes.

Smores

I am trying the whole “conscious parenting” thing, BUT sometimes I just want to throw in the towel! Lately, my boys are being total assholes, AND I have to figure out a way to put up with it all summer long. AND I love them more than anything in this galaxy.

As we move into the first full week of summer break in this house, I am more terrified than I ever have been in my whole life. How the hell am I going to entertain two energetic little beings who go from Linda Blair to the purple Teletubbie in 0.0000000000001 seconds flat?!

The thing is, I do know where they get it from. Me! Yes, I’m mom and they see me react and respond in all my glorious humaness. That comes complete with Ego and Unconscious Mind. That’s why I perceive them to be the little assholes that they are.

But, on some level, I must be doing something right because when they hang out with other moms on playdates and I’m not around, they are the sweetest little loud angels you would ever meet. That’s the consensus anyway. My question is…WHY THE HELL CAN’T THEY BE THAT WAY FOR ME?!?!

Because they are my biggest teachers, that’s why. They are going to push every button I have just so I know what needs attention and possible healing. When they are being assholes, I know it’s because I’m being an asshole somewhere in my life. I may not present it the same way they do {or the way I perceive them to}, but somewhere, somehow I’m being an asshole.

We all have things that we don’t like to be. That’s one of the things I do as a life coach is help people embrace those things about themselves that they’ve denied for so long. The thing is, when we can embrace the fact that we are everything and that we have the capacity to be something we REALLY don’t want to be, we have the freedom to choose who we want to be. The key is to find the gift that this aspect of you has. When you do that you’ll see that its ok to be what you don’t want when you really need it.

How do you find that gift?

How do you embrace the fact that you too are an asshole? Look back at the events of your life and see when “being an asshole” has served you. When did you move forward a step in life by being what you didn’t want to be. I don’t mean hurting others intentionally either. That will probably happen {actually, it totally will}, and they will have to deal with their own shit around it, but when did you stand up for yourself and someone perceived you as being a asshole {feel free to insert any quality you’d despise being, asshole works for me}?

The other thing is that they are just being boys. That’s another conclusion I’ve come to when talking to all my mom friends. At the end of the day, when we’re all snuggled on the couch getting ready for bed {it’s summer vacay, why would they sleep in their own beds?!?!} and they say, “Mom, I just wanted to tell you that I love you”, the asshole goes away and the sweet little angel comes out. It’s called harmony!

Are you trying to be a more conscious parent too?

Leave me a message! I’ve got a few pointers that have helped me get through those “terrible 2s” and 3s, and 4s, and 5s, and 6s, with a little more hair than I may have otherwise.


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Get me the *bleep* off this ride!!!

Get me the *bleep* off this ride!!!

Are you tired of riding the rollercoaster of life? One minute you’re on top of the world kicking ass and the next minute you’re diving into the pint of ice cream to smother the feelings of inadequacy {because ice cream heals all wounds}.

You’re adrenaline is either pulsing through your veins or its crashing down to Earth making you feel like the slug life is the way to go.

Do you want the fuck off the ride?!

Oooorrrrr would you like to know how to actually ENJOY the ride?

I’ve got a little secret…it’s actually pretty easy to throw your hands up in the air, scream with laughter, let the wind blow through your hair and enjoy the ride. I’ve figured out some really simple ways to deal with the shit life throws at me, and I’d love to share them with you. That’s why I’ve developed this 7-day challenge.

During our time together, you will learn how to navigate the ups, downs and loop-da-loops that come with life. These things are gonna happen no matter what you, do so you may as well learn how to lean into the ride and have some fun.

 

What can you expect?

  • A simple daily exercise sent to your inbox {don’t worry, I like to keep things simple and easy}.
  • In our private FB group you’ll share with us the things you’ve discovered and tell us how the exercise was for you.
  • Everyone participating in this challenge will make the pledge to keep this a safe, loving, and nurturing place to be.

 

By the end of the challenge you will have practical, easy to use tools to help you change the behaviors that keep you from enjoying the ride of life. You are going to get a new level of awareness that opens up the freedom for you to choose who and how you want to be.


This FREE 7 day challenge has the potential to completely change your life!

Sign up today!

 

Ready to join the 7-day Enjoy The Ride Challenge?

By taking this challenge you are setting yourself up to start the momentum you need to transform your life. Taking easy baby steps gets the ball rolling. Join me today for that little nudge.


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Three easy tips for letting go

Tamara's waterfall

I’ve been on this spiritual journey for 41 years now. I’ve been AWARE of that journey for the past few years. Waking up to the magic and miracles that exist all around us isn’t as easy as it may sound. There’s a lot of actual work. There’s visions to rediscover, goals to set, intentions to be brought up, breaking old patterns and practicing new, more positive ones. Sometimes it takes a little nudge to get us roused. If you’re like me, it takes a big rig and a bulldozer (I was totally going to say wrecking ball, but that instantly reminded me of Miley and I just can’t go there right now;) ). My big rig was a breast cancer diagnosis. My bulldozer was my husband unexpectedly passing away about a month after that. Yeah, the Universe knows I’m hard-headed so it threw out all the stops.

But, strange as it may seem, it isn’t the big things that keep me from moving forward. There have been many big things that have knocked me down throughout my life and I’ve gotten back up every time. It’s the little things that keep pushing me to my breaking point. It’s the little things that I can’t seem to let go of. And of course in the grand scheme of things, these little things don’t matter one bit, yet they trigger me until I’m insane.

It’s been my experience that taking baby steps is what helps to make you successful. That and a whole lot of patience, but I digress. If I keep the idea of baby steps in my awareness I can break my more deep seeded issues into little things that don’t seem quite as big. As I look into letting go of the smaller things, I find that the bigger ones aren’t all that big, making them a hell of a lot more easy to handle. But, since frustrations, annoyances and irritations are everywhere we have to look at “how” we can let them go. Well, I’ve got three easy tips to help.

  1. If you have kids, watch them without letting them know you’re watching them. When kids don’t know they’re being watched they are their true selves naturally. Especially when they’re really young and unconditioned. But watching the innocence of a child and how easily they let things go will help you realize just how easy the process is. If your kids are the irritation you’re trying to deal with, find a way to take a 5 minute time out for yourself. Take 3-5 deep cleansing breaths, in through your nose and out your mouth. On the in breath silently say to yourself “let”. On the out breath, say “go”. The breaths by themselves will help calm you, but adding a little mantra can help a little more. If you don’t have kids, that’s ok, borrow someone else’s, or watch some animals. Animals have a natural tendency to let things go too.
  2. Rediscover the vision you had for you life before everything started pissing you off. Connect with your inner wisdom to see what it is you really want in your life. Look at each area separately-health and body, friends and family, intimate relationships, home and surroundings, fun and leisure, spirituality, career, and money and finance. Journal about what you see and hear, how it all makes you feel. Get crystal clear on what you want your life to look like. Your vision has always been there, you just need to rediscover it. It’s subject to change as your circumstances change but overall you’re in charge of creating your life based on your vision. The clearer that vision, the easier it is to let go of the things that won’t get your there.
  3. Getting out into nature is a very powerful tool that is easily accessible and free. When you get out into nature you are reconnecting with the Source energy that courses through your body. You get to observe how easily Mother Nature let’s things go. Look at the waterfall in the photo above. It comes upon another layer of rock, which potentially could stop it’s flow, but it simply moves over and around it, continuing on it’s path with purpose and confidence. And since we are all of the same energy that means you too can easily let things go. One of my favorite things to do is walk around barefoot. I’m not too fond of shoes actually. Each step I take connects me to the power of Gaia, who is always there to support me, even when I’m being a bit of a shithead and making disempowering choices. She’s really quite forgiving. Ooohhhhhh…another blog post. 

So there you have it. Three easy steps to remind you how easy it is to actually let things go that no longer serve you. These are tools you can use any time which is so awesome because just when you let one thing go, here comes another.

With lots of love!

Photo taken by Tamara Bailey. Tamara is an EMS dispatcher who loves to capture what she sees through her hobby of photography. Nature is her favorite subject to shoot. She loves to go out on a hike, explore and experiment with filters, lenses, and patience. Her photos are raw and full of the beauty that we tend to take for granted. She has generously shared this photo with me as a co-creation between souls. Thank you Tamara for sharing your gift!

3 Easy Tips For Letting Go

Need help connecting to your inner wisdom to rediscover your vision?

Part of the beauty of this human experience is that we get to go through it together, we’re not alone. If you need help connecting to your inner wisdom where your vision and answers are, contact me for a free consultation. I’d love to walk this journey with you.


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