How to create your own unique path

How to create your own unique path

How would you like to create your own unique path?

Would you like to quit living according to the status quo, quit living Groundhog day over and over?

Then have I got some tips for you!!!

Anytime we are trying to create change in our lives it takes a few things. The first thing that comes to mind for me is courage.

I sat in my room one night, sobbing uncontrollably, not knowing how the hell to get off the floor. Suddenly, there was a shift. I took a deep breath, stood up, and like the Cowardly Lion screamed, “Put ‘em up! Put ‘em up!”.

I knew there was going to be a battle.

It was going to be hard.

I had no idea how to create my own unique path.

I also didn’t know just how fucking amazing it would be to finally be free of my demons and heal my wounds.

So I put one foot in front of the other and started walking, making the smallest of changes at first {actually, I slept on it for the night, that way my unconscious mind had a chance to process all the shit that was running through my head, then the next morning I got up and started walking.}.

See, I was a survivor. I had survived Triple Negative Breast Cancer {an aggressive beast and the most difficult to treat and keep from coming back}. It’s only co-incident that I’m writing this blog for you, all about creating your own unique path, on the eve of what would’ve been my 13th wedding anniversary. I say would’ve been because my husband unexpectedly passed away six weeks after I was diagnosed. Again, survivor.

According to Jeff Olson in The Slight Edge, “And if you can survive, then you can succeed. You don’t need to do some brilliant, impossible thing. You don’t need to learn some insanely difficult skills, or have some genius-level brainstorm of an innovative idea. All you have to do is keep doing the things that got you this far.”

But the things that had gotten me that far weren’t the things I knew I should be doing, so some things had to change.

If we want the change to be permanent, there are four things that are required.

These are four things you can do to create your own unique path!

 

Release the baggage you’ve been carrying around from your past.

Baggage is all the repressed negative emotions and limiting beliefs we carry with us through out our lives. An emotionally significant event occurs when we’re young, we don’t know how to process it, we develop some limiting belief about ourself {I’m not _____ enough, or some other bullshit} or the world, then our unconscious mind holds on to it until we’re ready to deal with it.

This is where the Mental and Emotional Release Technique® I use with my clients comes in. In a two day session we uncover the greater problem that was created by your thoughts about what was happening at the time. The really cool thing is that you don’t have to relive the actual event! Your unconscious mind has already saved it for you and knows exactly what to release.

 

Create a compelling vision for your life and set some goals according to what’s important to you.

There’s so many ways to do this. Visions boards, visualizations, meditations, journaling, on and on. How many of those actually align with what’s important to you though?

In a Breakthrough Session, we explore the things that are important to you-your values.

Our values are ingrained in us by the time we’re 5 {I’ve read as early as 2 as well.}. Once we release the baggage you’ve been carrying around, your values may shift a bit. That’s because some of the shit you’ve been carrying around may not even be yours. How would you know what’s important to you and WHY it’s important when someone else’s shit is in the way? Or your shit from long before you joined this time? How can you create your own unique path?!?!

Once you have your values in place you can start making decisions that are aligned with them, which will get you what you want and get you where you want to go a hell of a lot faster.

 

Stay focused on the picture you have in your mind for what you want your life to look like.

Once your baggage is out of the way and you’ve started using your values to get you where you want to go, it’s super important to stay focused.

One way to stay focused is to keep your values and vision you’ve created for yourself in plain sight every day and give them a little attention. Energy flows where attention goes! And do it with intention.

Another way to stay focused is to have some accountability with someone outside yourself. My suggestions would be to find a friend you know will keep you on the straight and narrow and be completely honest with you at all times, or invest in yourself and hire a coach who’s only job is to hold you accountable for the things you say you want and help you with the actions and tasks it will take to get you there. This is one of the things I do with my clients when they sign up for Integrative Coaching with me.

 

Take action, every day.

This one is completely up to you. Staying focused is up to you too, and I’m here to support you the best way I can. However, I can’t take action for you.

Are you 100% at cause for the things in your life, or are you a victim? {Here’s a little spoiler alert…you’re always at cause. It’s either out of creative responsibility or its out of “poor little me” victimhood. I was the poor little victim for so long!! I was exhausted.}

Remember, Jeff Olson said it doesn’t have to be some insanely difficult task. Compound interest doesn’t just work for money. It works for being more active, building a business from scratch, being who you want to be. Little actions done over and over, day in and day out, will eventually lead you to the greatest results. How do you think ants make their homes?

There you have it! Four ways to create lasting change. Four ways to create your own unique path. Now go take some baby steps to get you started.

Want help creating your unique path?

Contact me with any questions you have about a Breakthrough Session and Integrative Coaching with me. It will be the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself, your family, and the world.


I’m ready!

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This is what happens when you tell the world to f*#% off.

This is what happens when you tell the world to f*#% off.

Have you ever wanted to tell the whole world to just fuck off?

Did you actually do it and follow through? For once in my life I did just that.

Last week was a rough week for me. At the beginning of the week I backed over my chihuahua. My best friend. The being that has been with me through all the shit I’ve gone through over the last ten years. To say I was devastated would be a total fucking understatement. The connection I had with Brode was the deepest, strongest connection I’ve ever had with another living being, maybe even my kids.

After taking care of his lifeless little body and helping my kids through this traumatic event, I decided I wasn’t going to do things the way I usually do.

When things get challenging for me mentally and emotionally I get busy doing. Anything and everything. I distract myself. Something in me knew I had to change this way of being so I could step into the way of being I really wanted to be.

As a life coach I’ve got lots of tools to help me get through difficult situations. I coach people on how to deal with their emotions and use them to educate themselves on the lessons life has for us. It was time to practice what I preach.

I did a lot of breathing, a lot of sleeping, some yoga, and a lot of ho’oponopono {This is a Hawaiian forgiveness process. I had to forgive myself for the guilt I felt for killing my best friend}. I leaned into the pain, the sadness, the depression {because that fucker tried to come back}.

The thing I did that had the most impact for me was to tell the world-my commitments, my responsibilities and my “shoulds”- to fuck off!

I did it in a much kinder, gentler way of course {except in my head}, and setting this boundary was so important. So was giving myself permission to check out for as long as I needed. Doing these gave me the courage I needed to feel every ounce of shit I was feeling.

Then I dove head first into every self-care practice I knew. The one that worked the best? A Breakthrough Session!

A fellow coach led me through the process, where my dog showed up multiple times. The last time he showed up, I had the biggest breakthrough of my life. He gifted me, and I gifted myself, with unconditional self-love and acceptance.

Talk about freedom!

Who would’ve thought that telling the world to fuck off would be so liberating?

Now obviously I’m not telling you to run out and start telling everyone to fuck off when you don’t want to do something.

What I am telling you is to give yourself the time and energy you need to get you through whatever it is you’re going through. I’m telling you to break the patterns that keep you spinning in the same spot over and over, living the same drama on a different day. I’m telling you to quit taking care of everyone else and take care of yourself, whatever that looks like, and let others know what you need.

Sometimes when we take a few steps back we’re able to take a running start to get us where we want to go.

You want to know what a Breakthrough Session is, don’t you?

If you’d like to know more about a Breakthrough Session so you too can take a leap forward, visit my website or contact me here. I’d be honored to be the one to jump with you.

BTS

Cause or effect. Which one are you?

Cause or effect. Either way, whether we want to believe it or not, we are at cause for everything in our lives. The good AND the bad.

In this video I share the equation that will help you see the results you want, the excuses you use that keep you stuck, and give you the opportunity to consciously choose which one you want to follow.

Be the alligator!

Now that you know the equation and have written down your excuses, refer to them every day. Keep them handy so you can refer to them often. When you know which excuse you’re using, it’s much easier to shift to a more positive action. Action is the only way you’re going to get the life you want. That’s being the co-creator.

 

Ready to find out more?

Speaking of more positive action…do you need to make some serious changes in your life so that you are the cause of all the greatness that shows up? Hit the button to schedule your free Orientation Call. Your extraordinary life is waiting.


Extraordinary life waiting…

Does this idea of taking responsibility make you a little afraid? I know it did with me at first. I’d love to help you see how powerful this concept is. Come follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and subscribe to my YouTube channel and I’ll show you that it’s not so scary after all. 

How to do the “conscious parenting” thing when your kids are being a**holes.

How to do the “conscious parenting” thing when your kids are being a**holes.

Smores

I am trying the whole “conscious parenting” thing, BUT sometimes I just want to throw in the towel! Lately, my boys are being total assholes, AND I have to figure out a way to put up with it all summer long. AND I love them more than anything in this galaxy.

As we move into the first full week of summer break in this house, I am more terrified than I ever have been in my whole life. How the hell am I going to entertain two energetic little beings who go from Linda Blair to the purple Teletubbie in 0.0000000000001 seconds flat?!

The thing is, I do know where they get it from. Me! Yes, I’m mom and they see me react and respond in all my glorious humaness. That comes complete with Ego and Unconscious Mind. That’s why I perceive them to be the little assholes that they are.

But, on some level, I must be doing something right because when they hang out with other moms on playdates and I’m not around, they are the sweetest little loud angels you would ever meet. That’s the consensus anyway. My question is…WHY THE HELL CAN’T THEY BE THAT WAY FOR ME?!?!

Because they are my biggest teachers, that’s why. They are going to push every button I have just so I know what needs attention and possible healing. When they are being assholes, I know it’s because I’m being an asshole somewhere in my life. I may not present it the same way they do {or the way I perceive them to}, but somewhere, somehow I’m being an asshole.

We all have things that we don’t like to be. That’s one of the things I do as a life coach is help people embrace those things about themselves that they’ve denied for so long. The thing is, when we can embrace the fact that we are everything and that we have the capacity to be something we REALLY don’t want to be, we have the freedom to choose who we want to be. The key is to find the gift that this aspect of you has. When you do that you’ll see that its ok to be what you don’t want when you really need it.

How do you find that gift?

How do you embrace the fact that you too are an asshole? Look back at the events of your life and see when “being an asshole” has served you. When did you move forward a step in life by being what you didn’t want to be. I don’t mean hurting others intentionally either. That will probably happen {actually, it totally will}, and they will have to deal with their own shit around it, but when did you stand up for yourself and someone perceived you as being a asshole {feel free to insert any quality you’d despise being, asshole works for me}?

The other thing is that they are just being boys. That’s another conclusion I’ve come to when talking to all my mom friends. At the end of the day, when we’re all snuggled on the couch getting ready for bed {it’s summer vacay, why would they sleep in their own beds?!?!} and they say, “Mom, I just wanted to tell you that I love you”, the asshole goes away and the sweet little angel comes out. It’s called harmony!

Are you trying to be a more conscious parent too?

Leave me a message! I’ve got a few pointers that have helped me get through those “terrible 2s” and 3s, and 4s, and 5s, and 6s, with a little more hair than I may have otherwise.


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