8 ways to get unstuck and start living a Fiercely Fresh Life

8 ways to get unstuck and start living a Fiercely Fresh Life

I remember sitting in my reading chair in my bedroom, wondering what the hell I was going to do. I was stuck like never before, and I really wanted to get unstuck.

I had passed the point where my triple negative breast cancer was most likely to return and my doctor had cut our check up visits to once per year {I had been going to see her every three months, then every six. She had become the family member we see every so often.}. She was more and more confident that the things I was doing were working to keep cancer away, and so was I.

So now what?

That meant it was time to deal with the underlying issues that caused my cancer in the first place. Among the physical factors, there were the spiritual, mental, and emotional aspects that needed some attention. The depression and anxiety I had gone through the previous ten years had taken their toll, and since I could breath a little easier I wanted to dive in and find out why I couldn’t shake the shit that kept coming up.

I began my exploration by reading, then reading some more, then reading things I hadn’t read before, then doing things I hadn’t done in a very long time, then doing things I hadn’t ever done before. I slowly but surely started taking action.

In addition to taking action to get unstuck, I began working on my mindset and unconscious programming.

I had learned so much about the unconscious mind and realizing just how much shit was stuck in there. As I continued to learn how to reprogram my brain I learned some really great ways to create the life I wanted.

These are eight ways I began to get unstuck and start living my Fiercely Fresh Life, and how you can begin to live yours too.

 

Let go of the outcome.

I began creating a picture of the life I wanted. I began setting goals. Then I surrendered it all over the the Universe to let it handle all the details of how I was going to get what I wanted.

 

Get rid of the should’s.

The word “should” kept coming up over and over. What “should” I do with my life? How “should” I be? What “should” I have? Well, I started to look at what I needed instead of all the “should’s”.

 

Use your emotions as a GPS to guide you to what you need to learn.

Our emotions are there for a reason. Despite what you may think it’s not to hijack us and turn us into raving lunatics, as much fun as that may be sometimes. I started personifying my emotions when they came up and having a conversation with them. Angry Annie and I had many conversations. I also learned how to deal with my emotions in the moment rather than allowing them to add to the baggage I was already carrying around. I’m developing an online course to help you do the same.

 

Ask for help.

Keep your sights on the results you’re looking for and the changes you want to make, instead of the excuses that keep you stuck. Asking for help can help you find resources you never knew where there. The more you ask for help, the more opportunities and resources start coming out of the wood works.

 

Get out of the weeds.

If you’re feeling anxiety it’s because you’re focused on all the things you need to do to get you to the future you want. When you look at all the things it can get overwhelming. Come back to the present and look at the big picture.

 

Connect to your Higher Self.

Connecting to the part of you that has all the answers, and trusting her more often, will help you make the decisions you need to move you in the direction you want to go, then take the actions you’re guided to take.

 

Embrace progress, not perfection and imperfectly perfect/perfectly imperfect.

Life is all about learning and growing. Work toward making progress and you’ll move forward more quickly. And stop beating yourself up for everything, right now!

 

Turn your frown upside down.

What’s the opposite of upside down? Rightside up! More specifically, when a negative thought comes up, stop it in it’s tracks and turn it around. We call this reframing in NLP. Take on a new perspective. Open your eyes and heart to the positive, the opposite of negative.

I’m not saying it’s going to be easy to implement all eight of these tips and get you unstuck. What I am saying is if you take one at a time, sooner or later you’re going to wake up with the life you keep saying you want. Making changes doesn’t have to be hard. You don’t need the “go big or go home” mentality. Making small changes in your programming by following these eight tips will lead you in the right direction.

 

Wanna know more about baggage?

I talked about learning from your emotions instead of adding them to the baggage you’re already carrying. Would you like to know more about that baggage and what it’s making you do? Contact me for a free Discovery Call to find out.


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How to create your own unique path

How to create your own unique path

How would you like to create your own unique path?

Would you like to quit living according to the status quo, quit living Groundhog day over and over?

Then have I got some tips for you!!!

Anytime we are trying to create change in our lives it takes a few things. The first thing that comes to mind for me is courage.

I sat in my room one night, sobbing uncontrollably, not knowing how the hell to get off the floor. Suddenly, there was a shift. I took a deep breath, stood up, and like the Cowardly Lion screamed, “Put ‘em up! Put ‘em up!”.

I knew there was going to be a battle.

It was going to be hard.

I had no idea how to create my own unique path.

I also didn’t know just how fucking amazing it would be to finally be free of my demons and heal my wounds.

So I put one foot in front of the other and started walking, making the smallest of changes at first {actually, I slept on it for the night, that way my unconscious mind had a chance to process all the shit that was running through my head, then the next morning I got up and started walking.}.

See, I was a survivor. I had survived Triple Negative Breast Cancer {an aggressive beast and the most difficult to treat and keep from coming back}. It’s only co-incident that I’m writing this blog for you, all about creating your own unique path, on the eve of what would’ve been my 13th wedding anniversary. I say would’ve been because my husband unexpectedly passed away six weeks after I was diagnosed. Again, survivor.

According to Jeff Olson in The Slight Edge, “And if you can survive, then you can succeed. You don’t need to do some brilliant, impossible thing. You don’t need to learn some insanely difficult skills, or have some genius-level brainstorm of an innovative idea. All you have to do is keep doing the things that got you this far.”

But the things that had gotten me that far weren’t the things I knew I should be doing, so some things had to change.

If we want the change to be permanent, there are four things that are required.

These are four things you can do to create your own unique path!

 

Release the baggage you’ve been carrying around from your past.

Baggage is all the repressed negative emotions and limiting beliefs we carry with us through out our lives. An emotionally significant event occurs when we’re young, we don’t know how to process it, we develop some limiting belief about ourself {I’m not _____ enough, or some other bullshit} or the world, then our unconscious mind holds on to it until we’re ready to deal with it.

This is where the Mental and Emotional Release Technique® I use with my clients comes in. In a two day session we uncover the greater problem that was created by your thoughts about what was happening at the time. The really cool thing is that you don’t have to relive the actual event! Your unconscious mind has already saved it for you and knows exactly what to release.

 

Create a compelling vision for your life and set some goals according to what’s important to you.

There’s so many ways to do this. Visions boards, visualizations, meditations, journaling, on and on. How many of those actually align with what’s important to you though?

In a Breakthrough Session, we explore the things that are important to you-your values.

Our values are ingrained in us by the time we’re 5 {I’ve read as early as 2 as well.}. Once we release the baggage you’ve been carrying around, your values may shift a bit. That’s because some of the shit you’ve been carrying around may not even be yours. How would you know what’s important to you and WHY it’s important when someone else’s shit is in the way? Or your shit from long before you joined this time? How can you create your own unique path?!?!

Once you have your values in place you can start making decisions that are aligned with them, which will get you what you want and get you where you want to go a hell of a lot faster.

 

Stay focused on the picture you have in your mind for what you want your life to look like.

Once your baggage is out of the way and you’ve started using your values to get you where you want to go, it’s super important to stay focused.

One way to stay focused is to keep your values and vision you’ve created for yourself in plain sight every day and give them a little attention. Energy flows where attention goes! And do it with intention.

Another way to stay focused is to have some accountability with someone outside yourself. My suggestions would be to find a friend you know will keep you on the straight and narrow and be completely honest with you at all times, or invest in yourself and hire a coach who’s only job is to hold you accountable for the things you say you want and help you with the actions and tasks it will take to get you there. This is one of the things I do with my clients when they sign up for Integrative Coaching with me.

 

Take action, every day.

This one is completely up to you. Staying focused is up to you too, and I’m here to support you the best way I can. However, I can’t take action for you.

Are you 100% at cause for the things in your life, or are you a victim? {Here’s a little spoiler alert…you’re always at cause. It’s either out of creative responsibility or its out of “poor little me” victimhood. I was the poor little victim for so long!! I was exhausted.}

Remember, Jeff Olson said it doesn’t have to be some insanely difficult task. Compound interest doesn’t just work for money. It works for being more active, building a business from scratch, being who you want to be. Little actions done over and over, day in and day out, will eventually lead you to the greatest results. How do you think ants make their homes?

There you have it! Four ways to create lasting change. Four ways to create your own unique path. Now go take some baby steps to get you started.

Want help creating your unique path?

Contact me with any questions you have about a Breakthrough Session and Integrative Coaching with me. It will be the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself, your family, and the world.


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How imperfection brings the greatest joy

How imperfection brings the greatest joy

Do you know how exhausting it is to be a perfectionist? {I’m going to assume you do since you’re reading this.} It totally sucks, sucks the joy right out of life!

Hi! My name is Michele and I’m a recovering perfectionist. It’s nice to meet you.

I used to be such a perfectionist that I wouldn’t let anyone come over to my house unless I had dusted, vacuumed, cleaned the floors, kitchen and bathroom AND cleaned the baseboards. My obsessive perfectionism isolated me a few times too many.

The idea of perfection that society shoves down our throat keeps us in that “I’m not _____ enough” mentality. Well, I say, fuck that! I’m just as enough as anyone else, and so are you.

In her book “The Gifts of Imperfection”, Brene Brown states “It is in the process of embracing our imperfections that we find our truest gifts: courage, compassion, and connection.” This couldn’t be more true!

But how do you embrace imperfection? I’ve got 3 tips for you to help with this process.

 

Decide What Imperfection Means To You

Figuring out what exactly perfection and imperfection even mean for you is a good place to start. Redefining, or reframing, a particular word or behavior can be really powerful. It’s one of the things I teach in my 7-day Emotional Awareness Course {Stay tuned for this. It’s gonna be sooo good!}. When you know what something means to you, you’re more likely to focus on that than what everyone else is saying. You’re able to stand firmly in your belief with confidence.

 

Find The Positives In Your Imperfection

Finding the gift(s) that perfection and imperfection have for you can help you accept both and allow either in your life. For me, perfection brings the gift of thorough efficiency where I check and double check something before putting it out or completing a task. It helps me correct any errors or mistakes I might be making. Imperfection brings me the gift of laughter, as in allowing myself to laugh at myself for making mistakes, rather than beating myself up over them.

 

Get To The Root Cause

Finding the root cause of your perfectionist ways can help you eliminate this mindset so you can develop a more empowering way of thinking. Mental and Emotional Release ® has been one of the best ways to release my baggage without having to relive every gruesome detail of my past. MER works with your unconscious mind to release the repressed negative emotions and limiting beliefs that stem from an emotionally significant event that occurred when you were young. When you see the event from the perspective of who you are now, rather than the frightened or confused child you were back then, you’re able to see that things really weren’t as bad as you once thought, allowing your unconscious mind to release the baggage that has continued to accumulate over the years.

Since taking action with these tips I’ve found a lot more ease and joy in my life. The urgency of life has decreased, along with the depression and anxiety. Getting clear on what things mean to me and learning to work with my thoughts and perceptions has given me an unshakable foundation upon which to stand. Releasing my baggage from the past has freed me up to be who I want to be, not who I think everyone else thinks I should be.

Both being perfect and being imperfect are absolutely necessary for a joyful and Fiercely Fresh Life.

So, tell me, what does perfection and/or imperfection mean to you? What are the gifts that either perfection or imperfection have for you? Leave a comment and share with us your perspective. It just may help someone else figure out a more empowering interpretation for them to take on, helping them move forward.

 

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Cause or effect. Which one are you?

Cause or effect. Either way, whether we want to believe it or not, we are at cause for everything in our lives. The good AND the bad.

In this video I share the equation that will help you see the results you want, the excuses you use that keep you stuck, and give you the opportunity to consciously choose which one you want to follow.

Be the alligator!

Now that you know the equation and have written down your excuses, refer to them every day. Keep them handy so you can refer to them often. When you know which excuse you’re using, it’s much easier to shift to a more positive action. Action is the only way you’re going to get the life you want. That’s being the co-creator.

 

Ready to find out more?

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Does this idea of taking responsibility make you a little afraid? I know it did with me at first. I’d love to help you see how powerful this concept is. Come follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and subscribe to my YouTube channel and I’ll show you that it’s not so scary after all. 

So you’ve made it through treatment…now what?

Breast Cancer Survivor Treatment Blog

So you’ve made it through treatment…now what the fuck are you supposed to do?

As if hearing the words “it’s cancer” isn’t scary enough. For me the first thought that came to mind when I heard those words was “holy shit, I’m gonna die! I just started my family!”

I had already been battling depression and anxiety so this new diagnosis made the battle even more arduous. I’ve never been one to back down from a challenge though.

I went through four months of chemo starting with two months of AC and two months of Taxol. The next month I underwent a double mastectomy with the beginning of reconstruction. A few months later I had seven weeks of radiation to the affected side. After all the treatment and about six surgeries I was done with “cancer treatment”. Or so I thought.

When the storm finally began to calm I was left with the ghosts of what I had just been through and all the thoughts I had been pushing down. The depression and anxiety came rushing at me. I didn’t know what to do. I made the decision to get help, and anyone who knows me knows that was no easy decision for me to make.

Being the independent, people-pleasing, take care of everyone else type of person that I was I had to learn some new skills. Through the internal work I was doing, I began to see a flicker of light at the end of the dark tunnel I was traveling. That flicker got stronger and brighter.

I started down a path to healing that not only brought me continued health from cancer, I began healing wounds that caused the depression and anxiety. Looking back I started to see why I was depressed and anxious. Then I saw how my depression and anxiety caused my breast cancer. It was no coincidence that my tumor grew directly over my heart. Then I found the one thing that I knew in my heart cured my cancer and would prevent it from ever coming back…I found the gift that cancer brought me.

Yep, you read that correctly. I said cancer brought a gift. There was a positive side to the shit I had been through. As I thought about my cancer journey I started to think about all the people who came out of the woodworks to support me, to love me, to show me I could beat this. I started seeing all the connections to love, like cords from me to them. Then in a meditation I saw myself and the cord that had been broken between me and my Higher Self. Together, with cancer personified, the three of us healed that broken cord. Then cancer waved good-bye and faded off into the distance. I knew I didn’t have to worry about it ever coming back.

When we can find the gift that situations bring we don’t have to worry about those situations anymore. They may come back to test us, but we know how to handle it. We know how to deal with the emotions that come with the thoughts. We are open enough to learn how to shift our thoughts from those dreadful Negative Nelly’s to the empowering Positive Polly’s. We can do this with any situation, “good” or “bad”, not just cancer.

Here’s my simple process for finding the gifts that any situation may be bringing to you:

  1. Find some time for yourself to just sit in silence. Maybe you light a candle, maybe you draw a warm bath. Don’t get wrapped up in doing anything perfectly, just sit by yourself without distractions.
    Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths in. Breath in through your nose and out through your mouth making the “ha” sound. This will help slow down your nervous system and bring you into a calm state of mind.
  2. Start to picture yourself in a beautiful meadow. The breeze is softly blowing, the sun is gently kissing you skin. You’re surrounded by colorful flowers and cool green grass.
  3. Picture your situation as a person. What does this person look like? Envision as many details as you can. Is there a lightness about them, or a heaviness? Are they clear or dull? Bright or dim?
  4. Notice how you feel being in their presence. Do you feel peaceful or angry? Is your body tensing up or are you relaxed?
  5. Ask them what lesson or gift they have for you. Listen as they share their knowledge.
  6. Acknowledge them by thanking them for their generosity and support, and gracefully embracing them.
  7. Watch them as they walk away, waving with confidence that you’ll continue to be supported on your souls journey.

So when you start to wonder what you’re supposed to do now that you’re done with treatment and those negative anxiety ridden thoughts start crawling into your consciousness, stop yourself. Take a few deep breaths. Thank the anxiety and negative thoughts for showing you that you are alive, that you are human. Give them a big ol’ hug, then send them on their way. It takes practice but you are stronger than any of them so take back the steering wheel and go 4-wheeling. Give me a call, I’m always up for a little adventure.

Lots of love and healing vibes,
Michele

Ready to find the gift of any situation?

PS: Think this is a little too terrifying to handle by yourself (I sure did, that’s why I reached out)? Would you like to take someone with you so you’re not alone? Contact me and I’ll support you along the way.


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Just because you aren’t in school anymore doesn’t mean you aren’t a student.

Being a student

From the time we come out of our mothers womb we begin learning. We learn how to see, speak, eat, crawl, walk and run. We learn how to get along in the world. We become conditioned to think a certain way, to act in a certain way. This learning is how we evolve, expand and grow. We learn from those around us and the things we are surrounded by. The learning never stops.

We enter school and spend most of our day there. We learn the basics like reading, writing, math, as well as how to socialize with others. Then we come home to our families and we learn how to be a part of a different kind of community. We learn our roles within that community and how to make it work cohesively so that we can take these skills out into the real world.

There are a lot of things that aren’t taught in school though. I know I was never taught to balance a checkbook, pay bills or change a flat tire. I got to learn how to do those things simply by doing them.

There are certain things you can’t learn in a classroom though. Like learning how to not take everything so personally, or how strong you might be. Those are things that I learned just by living life. 

We’re going to make mistakes. We’re going to fail, a lot. But if we just keep our hearts and our eyes open for the lessons that life brings we can start to learn things on a deeper level so that the lessons get into our cells, rather than going in one ear and out the other. 

Most of us are learning things as we go along. I am learning how to use my gifts of strength, resilience, and tenacity to create the business and life I love. I am learning to receive as well as to give, unconditionally. Learning how to write blogs, create newsletters and put myself out there for others to see and connect with has been challenging, and there have been many excuses and fears along the way, but I am still showing up and learning by living life. 

There are also things that we need to unlearn, like beating up on ourselves for not doing something perfectly. That too is part of the learning process. That too is part of life. Life is the learning process and that learning process leads us to the whole beings we were meant to be.

As spiritual beings in a human experience there is so much to learn, but we will learn the lessons we need to learn when we need to learn them. The past few months have been about me learning patience. I have never been one to be patient. I want something and I want it now so I can move on to the next thing. So, life is presenting me with opportunities to practice being patient. See how that works. Life is the teacher and I am the student. 

So what lessons is life trying to teach you right now? What patterns keep repeating themselves over and over? I invite you to open your heart and your eyes to what’s in front of you. The emotions that you’re feeling…those are there to teach you as well. Leave me a comment and let’s learn from each other so this whole process is less arduous.

With so much love!

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