How to create your own unique path

How to create your own unique path

How would you like to create your own unique path?

Would you like to quit living according to the status quo, quit living Groundhog day over and over?

Then have I got some tips for you!!!

Anytime we are trying to create change in our lives it takes a few things. The first thing that comes to mind for me is courage.

I sat in my room one night, sobbing uncontrollably, not knowing how the hell to get off the floor. Suddenly, there was a shift. I took a deep breath, stood up, and like the Cowardly Lion screamed, “Put ‘em up! Put ‘em up!”.

I knew there was going to be a battle.

It was going to be hard.

I had no idea how to create my own unique path.

I also didn’t know just how fucking amazing it would be to finally be free of my demons and heal my wounds.

So I put one foot in front of the other and started walking, making the smallest of changes at first {actually, I slept on it for the night, that way my unconscious mind had a chance to process all the shit that was running through my head, then the next morning I got up and started walking.}.

See, I was a survivor. I had survived Triple Negative Breast Cancer {an aggressive beast and the most difficult to treat and keep from coming back}. It’s only co-incident that I’m writing this blog for you, all about creating your own unique path, on the eve of what would’ve been my 13th wedding anniversary. I say would’ve been because my husband unexpectedly passed away six weeks after I was diagnosed. Again, survivor.

According to Jeff Olson in The Slight Edge, “And if you can survive, then you can succeed. You don’t need to do some brilliant, impossible thing. You don’t need to learn some insanely difficult skills, or have some genius-level brainstorm of an innovative idea. All you have to do is keep doing the things that got you this far.”

But the things that had gotten me that far weren’t the things I knew I should be doing, so some things had to change.

If we want the change to be permanent, there are four things that are required.

These are four things you can do to create your own unique path!

  • Release the baggage you’ve been carrying around from your past.

Baggage is all the repressed negative emotions and limiting beliefs we carry with us through out our lives. An emotionally significant event occurs when we’re young, we don’t know how to process it, we develop some limiting belief about ourself {I’m not _____ enough, or some other bullshit} or the world, then our unconscious mind holds on to it until we’re ready to deal with it.

This is where the Mental and Emotional Release Technique® I use with my clients comes in. In a two day session we uncover the greater problem that was created by your thoughts about what was happening at the time. The really cool thing is that you don’t have to relive the actual event! Your unconscious mind has already saved it for you and knows exactly what to release.

  • Create a compelling vision for your life and set some goals according to what’s important to you.

There’s so many ways to do this. Visions boards, visualizations, meditations, journaling, on and on. How many of those actually align with what’s important to you though?

In a Breakthrough Session, we explore the things that are important to you-your values.

Our values are ingrained in us by the time we’re 5 {I’ve read as early as 2 as well.}. Once we release the baggage you’ve been carrying around, your values may shift a bit. That’s because some of the shit you’ve been carrying around may not even be yours. How would you know what’s important to you and WHY it’s important when someone else’s shit is in the way? Or your shit from long before you joined this time? How can you create your own unique path?!?!

Once you have your values in place you can start making decisions that are aligned with them, which will get you what you want and get you where you want to go a hell of a lot faster.

  • Stay focused on the picture you have in your mind for what you want your life to look like.

Once your baggage is out of the way and you’ve started using your values to get you where you want to go, it’s super important to stay focused.

One way to stay focused is to keep your values and vision you’ve created for yourself in plain sight every day and give them a little attention. Energy flows where attention goes! And do it with intention.

Another way to stay focused is to have some accountability with someone outside yourself. My suggestions would be to find a friend you know will keep you on the straight and narrow and be completely honest with you at all times, or invest in yourself and hire a coach who’s only job is to hold you accountable for the things you say you want and help you with the actions and tasks it will take to get you there. This is one of the things I do with my clients when they sign up for Integrative Coaching with me.

  • Take action, every day.

This one is completely up to you. Staying focused is up to you too, and I’m here to support you the best way I can. However, I can’t take action for you.

Are you 100% at cause for the things in your life, or are you a victim? {Here’s a little spoiler alert…you’re always at cause. It’s either out of creative responsibility or its out of “poor little me” victimhood. I was the poor little victim for so long!! I was exhausted.}

Remember, Jeff Olson said it doesn’t have to be some insanely difficult task. Compound interest doesn’t just work for money. It works for being more active, building a business from scratch, being who you want to be. Little actions done over and over, day in and day out, will eventually lead you to the greatest results. How do you think ants make their homes?

There you have it! Four ways to create lasting change. Four ways to create your own unique path. Now go take some baby steps to get you started.

Want help creating your unique path?

Contact me with any questions you have about a Breakthrough Session and Integrative Coaching with me. It will be the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself, your family, and the world.


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How imperfection brings the greatest joy

How imperfection brings the greatest joy

Do you know how exhausting it is to be a perfectionist? {I’m going to assume you do since you’re reading this.} It totally sucks, sucks the joy right out of life!

Hi! My name is Michele and I’m a recovering perfectionist. It’s nice to meet you.

I used to be such a perfectionist that I wouldn’t let anyone come over to my house unless I had dusted, vacuumed, cleaned the floors, kitchen and bathroom AND cleaned the baseboards. My obsessive perfectionism isolated me a few times too many.

The idea of perfection that society shoves down our throat keeps us in that “I’m not _____ enough” mentality. Well, I say, fuck that! I’m just as enough as anyone else, and so are you.

In her book “The Gifts of Imperfection”, Brene Brown states “It is in the process of embracing our imperfections that we find our truest gifts: courage, compassion, and connection.” This couldn’t be more true!

But how do you embrace imperfection? I’ve got 3 tips for you to help with this process.

  1. Figuring out what exactly perfection and imperfection even mean for you is a good place to start. Redefining, or reframing, a particular word or behavior can be really powerful. It’s one of the things I teach in my 7-day Emotional Awareness Course {Stay tuned for this. It’s gonna be sooo good!}. When you know what something means to you, you’re more likely to focus on that than what everyone else is saying. You’re able to stand firmly in your belief with confidence.
  2. Finding the gift(s) that perfection and imperfection have for you can help you accept both and allow either in your life. For me, perfection brings the gift of thorough efficiency where I check and double check something before putting it out or completing a task. It helps me correct any errors or mistakes I might be making. Imperfection brings me the gift of laughter, as in allowing myself to laugh at myself for making mistakes, rather than beating myself up over them.
  3. Finding the root cause of your perfectionist ways can help you eliminate this mindset so you can develop a more empowering way of thinking. Mental and Emotional Release ® has been one of the best ways to release my baggage without having to relive every gruesome detail of my past. MER works with your unconscious mind to release the repressed negative emotions and limiting beliefs that stem from an emotionally significant event that occurred when you were young. When you see the event from the perspective of who you are now, rather than the frightened or confused child you were back then, you’re able to see that things really weren’t as bad as you once thought, allowing your unconscious mind to release the baggage that has continued to accumulate over the years.

Since taking action with these tips I’ve found a lot more ease and joy in my life. The urgency of life has decreased, along with the depression and anxiety. Getting clear on what things mean to me and learning to work with my thoughts and perceptions has given me an unshakable foundation upon which to stand. Releasing my baggage from the past has freed me up to be who I want to be, not who I think everyone else thinks I should be.

Both being perfect and being imperfect are absolutely necessary for a joyful and Fiercely Fresh Life.

So, tell me, what does perfection and/or imperfection mean to you? What are the gifts that either perfection or imperfection have for you? Leave a comment and share with us your perspective. It just may help someone else figure out a more empowering interpretation for them to take on, helping them move forward.

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Three easy tips for letting go

Tamara's waterfall

I’ve been on this spiritual journey for 41 years now. I’ve been AWARE of that journey for the past few years. Waking up to the magic and miracles that exist all around us isn’t as easy as it may sound. There’s a lot of actual work. There’s visions to rediscover, goals to set, intentions to be brought up, breaking old patterns and practicing new, more positive ones. Sometimes it takes a little nudge to get us roused. If you’re like me, it takes a big rig and a bulldozer (I was totally going to say wrecking ball, but that instantly reminded me of Miley and I just can’t go there right now;) ). My big rig was a breast cancer diagnosis. My bulldozer was my husband unexpectedly passing away about a month after that. Yeah, the Universe knows I’m hard-headed so it threw out all the stops.

But, strange as it may seem, it isn’t the big things that keep me from moving forward. There have been many big things that have knocked me down throughout my life and I’ve gotten back up every time. It’s the little things that keep pushing me to my breaking point. It’s the little things that I can’t seem to let go of. And of course in the grand scheme of things, these little things don’t matter one bit, yet they trigger me until I’m insane.

It’s been my experience that taking baby steps is what helps to make you successful. That and a whole lot of patience, but I digress. If I keep the idea of baby steps in my awareness I can break my more deep seeded issues into little things that don’t seem quite as big. As I look into letting go of the smaller things, I find that the bigger ones aren’t all that big, making them a hell of a lot more easy to handle. But, since frustrations, annoyances and irritations are everywhere we have to look at “how” we can let them go. Well, I’ve got three easy tips to help.

  1. If you have kids, watch them without letting them know you’re watching them. When kids don’t know they’re being watched they are their true selves naturally. Especially when they’re really young and unconditioned. But watching the innocence of a child and how easily they let things go will help you realize just how easy the process is. If your kids are the irritation you’re trying to deal with, find a way to take a 5 minute time out for yourself. Take 3-5 deep cleansing breaths, in through your nose and out your mouth. On the in breath silently say to yourself “let”. On the out breath, say “go”. The breaths by themselves will help calm you, but adding a little mantra can help a little more. If you don’t have kids, that’s ok, borrow someone else’s, or watch some animals. Animals have a natural tendency to let things go too.
  2. Rediscover the vision you had for you life before everything started pissing you off. Connect with your inner wisdom to see what it is you really want in your life. Look at each area separately-health and body, friends and family, intimate relationships, home and surroundings, fun and leisure, spirituality, career, and money and finance. Journal about what you see and hear, how it all makes you feel. Get crystal clear on what you want your life to look like. Your vision has always been there, you just need to rediscover it. It’s subject to change as your circumstances change but overall you’re in charge of creating your life based on your vision. The clearer that vision, the easier it is to let go of the things that won’t get your there.
  3. Getting out into nature is a very powerful tool that is easily accessible and free. When you get out into nature you are reconnecting with the Source energy that courses through your body. You get to observe how easily Mother Nature let’s things go. Look at the waterfall in the photo above. It comes upon another layer of rock, which potentially could stop it’s flow, but it simply moves over and around it, continuing on it’s path with purpose and confidence. And since we are all of the same energy that means you too can easily let things go. One of my favorite things to do is walk around barefoot. I’m not too fond of shoes actually. Each step I take connects me to the power of Gaia, who is always there to support me, even when I’m being a bit of a shithead and making disempowering choices. She’s really quite forgiving. Ooohhhhhh…another blog post. 

So there you have it. Three easy steps to remind you how easy it is to actually let things go that no longer serve you. These are tools you can use any time which is so awesome because just when you let one thing go, here comes another.

With lots of love!

Photo taken by Tamara Bailey. Tamara is an EMS dispatcher who loves to capture what she sees through her hobby of photography. Nature is her favorite subject to shoot. She loves to go out on a hike, explore and experiment with filters, lenses, and patience. Her photos are raw and full of the beauty that we tend to take for granted. She has generously shared this photo with me as a co-creation between souls. Thank you Tamara for sharing your gift!

3 Easy Tips For Letting Go

Need help connecting to your inner wisdom to rediscover your vision?

Part of the beauty of this human experience is that we get to go through it together, we’re not alone. If you need help connecting to your inner wisdom where your vision and answers are, contact me for a free consultation. I’d love to walk this journey with you.


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Just because you aren’t in school anymore doesn’t mean you aren’t a student.

Being a student

From the time we come out of our mothers womb we begin learning. We learn how to see, speak, eat, crawl, walk and run. We learn how to get along in the world. We become conditioned to think a certain way, to act in a certain way. This learning is how we evolve, expand and grow. We learn from those around us and the things we are surrounded by. The learning never stops.

We enter school and spend most of our day there. We learn the basics like reading, writing, math, as well as how to socialize with others. Then we come home to our families and we learn how to be a part of a different kind of community. We learn our roles within that community and how to make it work cohesively so that we can take these skills out into the real world.

There are a lot of things that aren’t taught in school though. I know I was never taught to balance a checkbook, pay bills or change a flat tire. I got to learn how to do those things simply by doing them.

There are certain things you can’t learn in a classroom though. Like learning how to not take everything so personally, or how strong you might be. Those are things that I learned just by living life. 

We’re going to make mistakes. We’re going to fail, a lot. But if we just keep our hearts and our eyes open for the lessons that life brings we can start to learn things on a deeper level so that the lessons get into our cells, rather than going in one ear and out the other. 

Most of us are learning things as we go along. I am learning how to use my gifts of strength, resilience, and tenacity to create the business and life I love. I am learning to receive as well as to give, unconditionally. Learning how to write blogs, create newsletters and put myself out there for others to see and connect with has been challenging, and there have been many excuses and fears along the way, but I am still showing up and learning by living life. 

There are also things that we need to unlearn, like beating up on ourselves for not doing something perfectly. That too is part of the learning process. That too is part of life. Life is the learning process and that learning process leads us to the whole beings we were meant to be.

As spiritual beings in a human experience there is so much to learn, but we will learn the lessons we need to learn when we need to learn them. The past few months have been about me learning patience. I have never been one to be patient. I want something and I want it now so I can move on to the next thing. So, life is presenting me with opportunities to practice being patient. See how that works. Life is the teacher and I am the student. 

So what lessons is life trying to teach you right now? What patterns keep repeating themselves over and over? I invite you to open your heart and your eyes to what’s in front of you. The emotions that you’re feeling…those are there to teach you as well. Leave me a comment and let’s learn from each other so this whole process is less arduous.

With so much love!

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Is that authenticity I smell???

With this being an election year there’s a lot more BS than authenticity going on. My BS meter has been going off a bit, but not because of all the political hype going on, because I’m wondering who’s real and who’s just trying to sell me something. I want to see the real people of the world, people not afraid to show me their dark side, people willing to let that dark side show a little. On a daily basis our darkness contributes to our existence just as much as our light.

What does a day in your life look like? Mine are typically full of energy (mine never matches that of my two boys) and is jam packed with a to-do list that doesn’t always get done. I attempt to get up early for my quiet routine of fifteen minutes of gentle yoga stretching and 15-30 minutes of meditation. I’ll usually do a quick check of Facebook and Instagram, maybe email, then I’m off and running to wake up the monsters, get their lunches packed, get them dressed, get me dressed, then we’re out the door. I get to come home to work, which most days is really nice, but lately it’s been challenging to make myself sit down and work for one reason or another.

As a single-mom/entrepreneur I have a pretty fixed time slot for productivity. Some days I’m super productive, other days are “I just don’t give a rat’s ass if anything gets done” kind of a day. It’s called harmony.

So why is it that I keep seeing how productive everyone else is? All the self-help gurus are so productive, the inspirational leaders. They get up, make their smoothies or super green healthy breakfasts, do an hour of yoga followed by a half hour or more of meditation, then they bust out all their new content and promotions, all while fitting social media posts in multiple times a day. Is it just me or is this just more BS they want us to see.

Don’t get me wrong, I follow many of the mainstream positive inspirational peeps out there because they do provide that positive inspiration. But there are days that I just want to punch them in the face. There, I said it! I wonder how many of them have kids? How many of them have spouses to help them with anything and everything? How many of them fight themselves to get out of bed some mornings? How many of them are only showing us their light? I want to see more darkness. Life is messy, its a process. Just because they have come through some pretty horrible shit, as have the rest of us, doesn’t mean life is all rainbows and butterflies (Hi Adam Levine;) ).

Pillars

I recently dove a little deeper into my values discovering not just what they actually are, but what they mean to me. Those values are as follows:

Flexible
Helpful
Integrity
Authenticity
Raw
Valuable
Integrated
Inclusion

These are the things that are most important to me and help me live a fulfilled life. I’m not being of service to anyone, especially myself, if I don’t keep these values in mind throughout the day. With that being said, I make a promise to you, my audience, my followers, my tribe, to always be flexible and helpful, to say what I mean and do what I say, to be totally unapologetically authentic and raw (which for me means the occasional profanity, just a forewarning in case the above wasn’t obvious), to know that what I have to offer you is just as valuable as what you offer me, to integrate my darkness into my light and help you figure out how to do the same, and to include you and your feedback into what I do here online and out in the world.

Do I compare myself to the self-help “experts”? Hell yes! I’m human. Do I have a choice as to whether or not I partake in such silly behavior? Of course I do. Most days I choose to live from the heart, from that place of courage that I can get through anything because I’ve already been through a lot. But it doesn’t have to be perfect routine action all the time. It has to be real and it has to feel good. I’m also still going to make up excuses because that’s something else humans do. We are meaning-making, excuse-giving machines!

I’d love to know what your values are. What do you find important? What do you keep in mind when making decisions and living life to the fullest? Leave me a message and lets have a real conversation.

With so much raw love!

Why do I keep attracting the same (insert your noun here)?

I once asked a friend of mine, “why do i keep attracting the same type of guys?” I don’t even remember what her response was at the time but the answer that I was looking for has come to me recently. It was actually there all along, I just wasn’t ready to see it. The thing is we all have all the answers to all the questions we have within ourselves. We just need to be open to receiving them. That’s where the experiences of our lives come in. The circumstances and situations we find ourselves in bring so much education into our lives. We often think that things are happening TO us. Our car breaks down when we’ve run out of money for the month, other unexpected financial burdens come up, we get in a fight with a loved one, we injure ourselves somehow…all examples of “things” that happen in life. The list is obviously a lot longer than this but you get the point.

For me losing my job sucked really bad. Being diagnosed with breast cancer sucked really bad. Unexpectedly losing my husband sucked the worst! But each of these “horrible” events, and these are just the main three from the last 10 years, have taught me a lesson. I know in my heart I’m meant to support people in a loving and nurturing way, but I wasn’t meant to do it in the back of an ambulance. I tend to put others before myself but breast cancer taught me to take care of me first and foremost, or else I can’t help take care of others (you know the whole oxygen masks on planes story). Being left a widowed, single, breast cancer patient with two young boys has taught me to embrace my strengths, my tenacity, and my fierce badassness. The events in your life are there to teach you whatever lesson you need to learn too.

I’ve struggled recently with my past coming back to me to teach me another lesson. Our past will repeat itself until we are ready to learn what we need to learn. I knew all along that what was happening wasn’t what I wanted but it was what was in my highest good. It sucks to see others in pain and not be able to help. It’s what I did with my husband. To be a loving support for them is what I’m here to do, but not at the expense of my own sanity and divinity. In the past I would have kept up with the unhealthy habits that only led to more anxiety and depression.

I’ve worked very hard the past few years to release a lot of my past and learn what I’ve needed to learn so that I may move forward in life. I worked with Tris Thorp doing Mental and Emotional Release ® (MER) work with Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) recently. Since that time I’ve noticed how my being has been changed forever. I’ve seen past behaviors creep their way back into being which sent me back into anxiety and fear. Working with Tris however, has allowed me to be able to become the observer of my life and my behaviors on a whole new level. I’ve been able to stop myself in my tracks, change my perspective, and move on much more quickly than I ever have before. Being able to release the emotions that have kept me tethered to my past has been the greatest gift I could have ever received.

The MER and NLP work I’ve done with Tris and the shadow work I’ve done over the last couple of years have given me the tools I need to break free of the emotional bonds of the past so that I can spread my wings and fly with confidence that I’ve got this thing called life, no matter what gets thrown at me. I’ve been down the traditional route of medications to treat my anxiety and depression as well as my cancer. But the feeling of liberation has eluded me until I took responsibility for my life and started looking at how I was creating the life I was living. I can now attract the “guy” or the “money” or whatever else I want in life because I’ve learned how to work with the higher power that exists within me, the higher power that exists within us all, the higher power that already has all the answers we need, the higher power that’s connected to our unconscious.

If you are ready to liberate yourself from the past, if you’re ready to take responsibility for your life and create a future that you are excited about living, and if you’re ready to work with someone who’s going to be ruthlessly compassionate and open you to new perspectives click here. It would my pleasure and honor to walk along side you on your journey. I invite you to step into your power and your future in bigger ways. Take that first step out of your past by doing something different. May you have a beautiful day.

So much love and light! xo