This is what happens when you tell the world to f*#% off.

This is what happens when you tell the world to f*#% off.

Have you ever wanted to tell the whole world to just fuck off?

Did you actually do it and follow through? For once in my life I did just that.

Last week was a rough week for me. At the beginning of the week I backed over my chihuahua. My best friend. The being that has been with me through all the shit I’ve gone through over the last ten years. To say I was devastated would be a total fucking understatement. The connection I had with Brode was the deepest, strongest connection I’ve ever had with another living being, maybe even my kids.

After taking care of his lifeless little body and helping my kids through this traumatic event, I decided I wasn’t going to do things the way I usually do.

When things get challenging for me mentally and emotionally I get busy doing. Anything and everything. I distract myself. Something in me knew I had to change this way of being so I could step into the way of being I really wanted to be.

As a life coach I’ve got lots of tools to help me get through difficult situations. I coach people on how to deal with their emotions and use them to educate themselves on the lessons life has for us. It was time to practice what I preach.

I did a lot of breathing, a lot of sleeping, some yoga, and a lot of ho’oponopono {This is a Hawaiian forgiveness process. I had to forgive myself for the guilt I felt for killing my best friend}. I leaned into the pain, the sadness, the depression {because that fucker tried to come back}.

The thing I did that had the most impact for me was to tell the world-my commitments, my responsibilities and my “shoulds”- to fuck off!

I did it in a much kinder, gentler way of course {except in my head}, and setting this boundary was so important. So was giving myself permission to check out for as long as I needed. Doing these gave me the courage I needed to feel every ounce of shit I was feeling.

Then I dove head first into every self-care practice I knew. The one that worked the best? A Breakthrough Session!

A fellow coach led me through the process, where my dog showed up multiple times. The last time he showed up, I had the biggest breakthrough of my life. He gifted me, and I gifted myself, with unconditional self-love and acceptance.

Talk about freedom!

Who would’ve thought that telling the world to fuck off would be so liberating?

Now obviously I’m not telling you to run out and start telling everyone to fuck off when you don’t want to do something.

What I am telling you is to give yourself the time and energy you need to get you through whatever it is you’re going through. I’m telling you to break the patterns that keep you spinning in the same spot over and over, living the same drama on a different day. I’m telling you to quit taking care of everyone else and take care of yourself, whatever that looks like, and let others know what you need.

Sometimes when we take a few steps back we’re able to take a running start to get us where we want to go.

You want to know what a Breakthrough Session is, don’t you?

If you’d like to know more about a Breakthrough Session so you too can take a leap forward, visit my website or contact me here. I’d be honored to be the one to jump with you.

BTS

How to do the “conscious parenting” thing when your kids are being a**holes.

How to do the “conscious parenting” thing when your kids are being a**holes.

Smores

I am trying the whole “conscious parenting” thing, BUT sometimes I just want to throw in the towel! Lately, my boys are being total assholes, AND I have to figure out a way to put up with it all summer long. AND I love them more than anything in this galaxy.

As we move into the first full week of summer break in this house, I am more terrified than I ever have been in my whole life. How the hell am I going to entertain two energetic little beings who go from Linda Blair to the purple Teletubbie in 0.0000000000001 seconds flat?!

The thing is, I do know where they get it from. Me! Yes, I’m mom and they see me react and respond in all my glorious humaness. That comes complete with Ego and Unconscious Mind. That’s why I perceive them to be the little assholes that they are.

But, on some level, I must be doing something right because when they hang out with other moms on playdates and I’m not around, they are the sweetest little loud angels you would ever meet. That’s the consensus anyway. My question is…WHY THE HELL CAN’T THEY BE THAT WAY FOR ME?!?!

Because they are my biggest teachers, that’s why. They are going to push every button I have just so I know what needs attention and possible healing. When they are being assholes, I know it’s because I’m being an asshole somewhere in my life. I may not present it the same way they do {or the way I perceive them to}, but somewhere, somehow I’m being an asshole.

We all have things that we don’t like to be. That’s one of the things I do as a life coach is help people embrace those things about themselves that they’ve denied for so long. The thing is, when we can embrace the fact that we are everything and that we have the capacity to be something we REALLY don’t want to be, we have the freedom to choose who we want to be. The key is to find the gift that this aspect of you has. When you do that you’ll see that its ok to be what you don’t want when you really need it.

How do you find that gift?

How do you embrace the fact that you too are an asshole? Look back at the events of your life and see when “being an asshole” has served you. When did you move forward a step in life by being what you didn’t want to be. I don’t mean hurting others intentionally either. That will probably happen {actually, it totally will}, and they will have to deal with their own shit around it, but when did you stand up for yourself and someone perceived you as being a asshole {feel free to insert any quality you’d despise being, asshole works for me}?

The other thing is that they are just being boys. That’s another conclusion I’ve come to when talking to all my mom friends. At the end of the day, when we’re all snuggled on the couch getting ready for bed {it’s summer vacay, why would they sleep in their own beds?!?!} and they say, “Mom, I just wanted to tell you that I love you”, the asshole goes away and the sweet little angel comes out. It’s called harmony!

Are you trying to be a more conscious parent too?

Leave me a message! I’ve got a few pointers that have helped me get through those “terrible 2s” and 3s, and 4s, and 5s, and 6s, with a little more hair than I may have otherwise.


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Get me the *bleep* off this ride!!!

Get me the *bleep* off this ride!!!

Are you tired of riding the rollercoaster of life? One minute you’re on top of the world kicking ass and the next minute you’re diving into the pint of ice cream to smother the feelings of inadequacy {because ice cream heals all wounds}.

You’re adrenaline is either pulsing through your veins or its crashing down to Earth making you feel like the slug life is the way to go.

Do you want the fuck off the ride?!

Oooorrrrr would you like to know how to actually ENJOY the ride?

I’ve got a little secret…it’s actually pretty easy to throw your hands up in the air, scream with laughter, let the wind blow through your hair and enjoy the ride. I’ve figured out some really simple ways to deal with the shit life throws at me, and I’d love to share them with you. That’s why I’ve developed this 7-day challenge.

During our time together, you will learn how to navigate the ups, downs and loop-da-loops that come with life. These things are gonna happen no matter what you, do so you may as well learn how to lean into the ride and have some fun.

 

What can you expect?

  • A simple daily exercise sent to your inbox {don’t worry, I like to keep things simple and easy}.
  • In our private FB group you’ll share with us the things you’ve discovered and tell us how the exercise was for you.
  • Everyone participating in this challenge will make the pledge to keep this a safe, loving, and nurturing place to be.

 

By the end of the challenge you will have practical, easy to use tools to help you change the behaviors that keep you from enjoying the ride of life. You are going to get a new level of awareness that opens up the freedom for you to choose who and how you want to be.


This FREE 7 day challenge has the potential to completely change your life!

Sign up today!

 

Ready to join the 7-day Enjoy The Ride Challenge?

By taking this challenge you are setting yourself up to start the momentum you need to transform your life. Taking easy baby steps gets the ball rolling. Join me today for that little nudge.


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So you’ve made it through treatment…now what?

Breast Cancer Survivor Treatment Blog

So you’ve made it through treatment…now what the fuck are you supposed to do?

As if hearing the words “it’s cancer” isn’t scary enough. For me the first thought that came to mind when I heard those words was “holy shit, I’m gonna die! I just started my family!”

I had already been battling depression and anxiety so this new diagnosis made the battle even more arduous. I’ve never been one to back down from a challenge though.

I went through four months of chemo starting with two months of AC and two months of Taxol. The next month I underwent a double mastectomy with the beginning of reconstruction. A few months later I had seven weeks of radiation to the affected side. After all the treatment and about six surgeries I was done with “cancer treatment”. Or so I thought.

When the storm finally began to calm I was left with the ghosts of what I had just been through and all the thoughts I had been pushing down. The depression and anxiety came rushing at me. I didn’t know what to do. I made the decision to get help, and anyone who knows me knows that was no easy decision for me to make.

Being the independent, people-pleasing, take care of everyone else type of person that I was I had to learn some new skills. Through the internal work I was doing, I began to see a flicker of light at the end of the dark tunnel I was traveling. That flicker got stronger and brighter.

I started down a path to healing that not only brought me continued health from cancer, I began healing wounds that caused the depression and anxiety. Looking back I started to see why I was depressed and anxious. Then I saw how my depression and anxiety caused my breast cancer. It was no coincidence that my tumor grew directly over my heart. Then I found the one thing that I knew in my heart cured my cancer and would prevent it from ever coming back…I found the gift that cancer brought me.

Yep, you read that correctly. I said cancer brought a gift. There was a positive side to the shit I had been through. As I thought about my cancer journey I started to think about all the people who came out of the woodworks to support me, to love me, to show me I could beat this. I started seeing all the connections to love, like cords from me to them. Then in a meditation I saw myself and the cord that had been broken between me and my Higher Self. Together, with cancer personified, the three of us healed that broken cord. Then cancer waved good-bye and faded off into the distance. I knew I didn’t have to worry about it ever coming back.

When we can find the gift that situations bring we don’t have to worry about those situations anymore. They may come back to test us, but we know how to handle it. We know how to deal with the emotions that come with the thoughts. We are open enough to learn how to shift our thoughts from those dreadful Negative Nelly’s to the empowering Positive Polly’s. We can do this with any situation, “good” or “bad”, not just cancer.

Here’s my simple process for finding the gifts that any situation may be bringing to you:

  1. Find some time for yourself to just sit in silence. Maybe you light a candle, maybe you draw a warm bath. Don’t get wrapped up in doing anything perfectly, just sit by yourself without distractions.
    Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths in. Breath in through your nose and out through your mouth making the “ha” sound. This will help slow down your nervous system and bring you into a calm state of mind.
  2. Start to picture yourself in a beautiful meadow. The breeze is softly blowing, the sun is gently kissing you skin. You’re surrounded by colorful flowers and cool green grass.
  3. Picture your situation as a person. What does this person look like? Envision as many details as you can. Is there a lightness about them, or a heaviness? Are they clear or dull? Bright or dim?
  4. Notice how you feel being in their presence. Do you feel peaceful or angry? Is your body tensing up or are you relaxed?
  5. Ask them what lesson or gift they have for you. Listen as they share their knowledge.
  6. Acknowledge them by thanking them for their generosity and support, and gracefully embracing them.
  7. Watch them as they walk away, waving with confidence that you’ll continue to be supported on your souls journey.

So when you start to wonder what you’re supposed to do now that you’re done with treatment and those negative anxiety ridden thoughts start crawling into your consciousness, stop yourself. Take a few deep breaths. Thank the anxiety and negative thoughts for showing you that you are alive, that you are human. Give them a big ol’ hug, then send them on their way. It takes practice but you are stronger than any of them so take back the steering wheel and go 4-wheeling. Give me a call, I’m always up for a little adventure.

Lots of love and healing vibes,
Michele

Ready to find the gift of any situation?

PS: Think this is a little too terrifying to handle by yourself (I sure did, that’s why I reached out)? Would you like to take someone with you so you’re not alone? Contact me and I’ll support you along the way.


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One easy step to end your suffering.

One easy step to end your suffering.

Boys shadow

So much in life is fleeting. Things come and go, people come and go, thoughts come and go. There is an ebb and flow to life that our humaness likes to fight with. We struggle causing ourselves a lot of suffering and emotional pain. 

I recently listened to a group call from Deepak Chopra and Eckart Tolle entitled “Beautiful Chaos”. I was drawn to participate in the call because of the word “chaos”. It’s a word that I’ve used quite a bit when describing my life.

There was one concept that struck me and has floated around my head since I listened to the call. I thought that pain and suffering were one and the same. I never differentiated the two. But seeing how they are different, yet two sides of the same coin, has opened my awareness to the idea that suffering can be a place of expansion. Both are places of learning.

Deepak says pain is physiological and biological. It is necessary for learning on a physical level for protection. I bet you were more careful around the stove after you burned yourself when you were little. 

He says that suffering is in the mind. It’s a mental experience. It occurs because we don’t understand reality, the what is. Our minds take over interpretation and perspective for us. It’s where the stories about what is are created.

What I’ve come to discover is that when we can accept what is, suffering dissipates. Acceptance is the ability to look at a situation and see the facts separate from the story we tell ourselves. It’s seeing fact versus fiction.

I believe one of the most challenging things to accept is our wholeness. The fact that we are everything you could think of is a difficult idea to grasp. We don’t want to be the bad guy, the ugly girl, the asshole, or any other negative quality. We’re conditioned to believe that it’s not ok to be these things. This is where the suffering, emotional pain and turmoil begin.

When we aren’t in acceptance of the idea of wholeness the “Beach Ball Effect” occurs. This is the idea that what keeps getting shoved under is eventually going to pop up, and it’s usually going to pop up when we least expect it, and at the most inopportune times. This pattern repeats itself until we learn to stop shoving things down, when we learn to accept our wholeness. 

Those things that we are usually shoving under the water are our disowned qualities and shadows. These are the things we don’t like about ourselves and are trying to hide from others. These shadow beliefs are born out of fear and breed insecurity. They tell us that we aren’t living up to the expectations of others. So we start to hide our true selves. We start to deny who we really are. We put up a facade so people will love and accept us. We may become needy, people pleasers or overachievers. We get so busy trying to prove that we aren’t something that we begin to suffer.

So, whether it’s a situation or a quality within yourself, acceptance is the antidote to suffering. What do you need to accept today? What’s going to set you free from the perceived suffering you’re going through? I invite you to take a few minutes to sit in stillness and ask your Higher Self what you need to accept. Your answers are already within you, you just need to learn to listen. 

With love and acceptance.

Are you ready to discover the parts of yourself that you’ve disowned?

Contact me to rediscover your wholeness so you can be the best version of yourself. 


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I found the key to enlightenment!

Funderland Icee boys

I found it you guys!!! The key to enlightenment. 

As I was waking up this morning, lying in bed, setting my intention for the day and it totally hit me! The last few days I’ve immersed myself in the fun of summer, the love and connection I have for my boys, and the love and connection I have for one of my very best friends. We went to a San Franstinktown (if you’ve seen Inside Out as many times as I have you’ll completely understand that I mean nothing by this 😉 ) Giants game on Wednesday. It was their first ever major league baseball game. We even got to go down on the infield near the dugout so they could see things up close. We got tickets from their Jr. Giants little league, which has been another great adventure for us this summer.

After the game we went back to Auntie Wendy and Uncle Eric’s house for some relief from the heat in their pool. Getting to spend time with my soul family while watching my boys is priceless. I almost didn’t get to do things like this because of my breast cancer diagnosis. But the Universe has bigger plans for me and this connection with myself and others is part of that plan, I know it.

On Thursday Wendy and I took the boys to Funderland, a local childrens amusement park. They got their unlimited ride wrist bands and ran in opposite directions, hence Auntie Wendy’s presence. The boys were in playtime heaven. I think they rode each ride 10 times each. The above picture was during our break time so they could catch their breath. Once the weather started heating up again it was back to the house for more swimming. 

Part of my role as mother is to protect my kids. Another part is to provide for them. I provide the necessities as well as the experiences and adventures for them to learn things on their own. The vision I have for my life is to provide as many adventures for them as possible while they are young. So many of my friends who’s children are grown tell me to enjoy my boys while they’re young. As much as they drive me insane, I cherish them too. 

So now you’re probably wondering what all this has to do with the key to enlightenment. Well, I realized something…I had the time of my life the last couple of days. Then I realized why…I didn’t give a fuck what anyone else thought or said about what I was doing. I lived in the sacred present moment more than I ever have in my entire life. For me, not giving a fuck about anything but what I was doing opened the door for me to find the joy in my life.

In Buddhism enlightenment is a final spiritual state marked by the absence of desire or suffering (thank you Websters dictionary). I was finally not suffering from anything nor was I wanting anything but what was right in front of me. I looked at my boys and my friends and realized that they are THE only thing in this world that matter. 

Enlightenment is different for everyone. According to Websters it is the state of having knowledge or understanding. To me that makes enlightenment subjective and personal. What’s enlightening for me may not be enlightening for you, vice versa, and that’s ok. As humans we put enlightenment just out of reach. It’s for those who sit on a mountain and meditate for 23 hours a day. That’s so far from the truth. It is within each of us. It’s a part of our wholeness. It’s getting out there and living life on your terms. It’s the little things.

I’d like to know…what’s enlightenment to you? What do you do that enlightens your life? Share with me in the comments and let’s see what we have in common. I promise it’s more than we realize.

With love and light.

Do you need help finding what enlightenment means to you?

Contact me for a consultation call to find the things that light you up. 


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