How to center and ground your way to success…and you won’t find this by Googling

How to center and ground your way to success…and you won’t find this by Googling

What exactly does it mean to be centered and grounded?

These are two different concepts, and they lead us to the same thing-a calmer way of being. When we’re calmer we’re better able to handle situations out of our control and make better choices {read that as we don’t lose our shit as often}.

That, my friends, is the key to success, no matter what success looks like for you.

According to Diana Raab, PhD in her Psychology Today article she defines centeredness as “having a reference point or a place to come back to when life’s challenges and emotions push you off balance.” This is where having tools in your toolbox and goals to achieve come in. Setting powerful goals that you stay connected to are a lot more achievable than just thoughts of what you’d like to accomplish.

Dr. Raab says that “being grounded is the ability to be completely aware and conscious during the present moment.” Basically, to me, being grounded means I have the ability to be mindful in the moment rather than back in the past or out in the future. It’s when I am harmoniously handling the different areas of life as well as taking care of my spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical bodies.

There are many ways to center and ground yourself. You can Google “how to be more centered and grounded” and get a million and a half hits giving you great tips. These tips are all great, and they are all external to us. They are external tools to help us reconnect to that inner Self.

But what happens when these things have lost their effectiveness? Or maybe they only work so well.

One thing that I never thought about before in regards to staying centered and grounded so I can be successful was taking a look at my values and using them to make my decisions and guide me in life. Values are those things that are most important to us and they live in the unconscious mind.

When was the last time you really thought about what’s most important to you on a deep level?

When was the last time you actually sat down to take a look at your values? Do you even know what your values really are? {I sure didn’t. I had a general idea of what I thought they should be according to what others around me said, but I had never really considered what was important to ME.}

Here is a 6-step process to figure out what is most important to you so you know how to be successful.

STEP 1:

Grab a piece of paper and a pen, find a quiet distraction free place for you to connect to your unconscious mind. The very first answers you hear are coming from your unconscious mind, the place where all your memories and emotions are stored.

STEP 2:

Take a deep breath in through your nose, hold for a second or two, then blow out through your mouth making a ‘Ha’ sound. This helps you connect to your unconscious mind energetically.

STEP 3:

Ask your unconscious mind what is most important to you in life. You can either choose one of the six main areas of life-Family, Relationships, Career, Personal growth and development, Health and fitness, or Spirituality-or you can focus on life in general. Do this step at least three times. When you start getting repeat answers you know you’ve emptied your unconscious mind {kind of like emptying out a bucket}.

STEP 4:

Put this list in order of importance, as in ‘this value is most important to me and this value is second most important to me’. Then rewrite your list in numerical order. You’re putting this list into a hierarchy so you’ve got something to look at and connect to on a regular basis. Make sure that the bottom value supports the value above it, and that one supports the value above it, and so on leading up to the top value.

STEP 5:

After you’ve put your list in order of importance connect with each value by writing out what that value means to you and why it’s important to you. Simon Sinek talks about the importance of knowing WHY in his Ted Talk. Knowing what something means to you and why it means that strengthens it’s power, and you can use that power to propel you to success.

STEP 6:

Put this list somewhere you will look at it every day. Use this list to help steer you in the direction you want to be going. Use this list to help you be the person you want to be.

That’s my 6-Step process for staying centered and grounded so you can be successful.

When we are clear about our values we are better able to paint a target for where we want out lives to be. We give our unconscious minds a beautiful picture of where we want to go {Bet you didn’t know our unconscious minds are the goal getters while our conscious minds are the goal setters. That’s a blog post for another day.}

We’re better able to handle things that pop up and try to derail us from the path we’re meant to be on and away from the life we want to be living. Keep doing the exercises and using the tools that you Googled, AND keep your values in your awareness daily too.

Until next time!

With lots of fierce love,

Michele

Did you find something new to help you stay centered and grounded so you can become more successful? In the comments let us know what your values are and how you’re going to use them to get you where you want to be.

Need help figuring out what’s most important to you?

Sometimes we can’t see things that are right in front of our faces. That’s when it’s a good time to ask for a little help. I’d be honored to help you learn how to communicate with your unconscious mind to help you get your answers.


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I had a fabulous Mothers Day, and I still feel like a failure.

I had a fabulous Mothers Day, and I still feel like a failure.

Even after a fabulous Mothers Day, I still feel like a total failure {I thought I was supposed to get a day off or something}.

Why? Because I’m not doing a good enough job {According to who?!?!}

When you’re a mom, single or married, you don’t get a day off, no matter what anyone says. Food still needs to be cooked, dishes still need to be done, laundry still needs to get washed {ran out of underwear…again}, and kids still fight over stupid shit. There’s always something to do, or something that needs to be redone because it wasn’t done right the first time. Perfection can be a real bitch!

So, if all the usual still happens, why do we have this expectation that the world stops when we have a day set aside for us?

Because we still think the outside world is needed to tell us that we do is enough and that we are enough.

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The thing is…WE’RE ALREADY ENOUGH!

We bust our asses to give our families the best possible lives. We bend over backwards to give them what we, or they, think they need, even to our detriment. Maybe we’re looking for their approval, their love. Maybe we’re just looking for a little acknowledgment. Either way, we just want everyone, including ourselves, to be happy. Happiness, though, is something one can only find within themselves.

Kids are the perfect example of finding happiness inside. My kids may get pissed at me for not letting them buy the latest video game, or the newest this, the coolest that. Yet it never fails, ten minutes later they’re all up in my grill giving me hugs and kisses and telling me they love me. I’m sure as they get older this may change, and it’s my responsibility as their parent to guide them in such a way that they don’t turn into the assholes that think they can have whatever they want whenever they want it. Even when they get disappointed, they’re still able to find their happy.

And so can we!

Part of being a mom and guiding them through life is knowing that I am going to fail sometimes.

I saw in one of my boys classroom a cute little sign that said FAIL-First Attempt In Learning. That struck me as pretty damn awesome. My immediate thought was it’s totally ok to fail. When I do, I just get back up and keep going. My kids taught me that, among other things.

When I shared this with one of my mom friends she said “even if you need a second attempt, it’s still ok because then you can SAIL your way to success” {Second Attempt In Learning…see what she did there?! She’s a genius. Of course she is, she’s my friend.}

So when you’re feeling like a complete failure for not feeding your kids perfectly healthy diets, for not getting them to bed at a decent hour, for not buying them everything they want, for not signing them up for every damn activity they want to do, know that…

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!

It’s ok to tell them “Suck it up Buttercup! You’re not going to get your way this time.”

You know what else is ok…taking any damn day you want and saying “it’s my day off”.

Feeling alone in your momming adventure?

We all do things a bit differently, and that is totally ok too! Sometimes what worked for us before no longer works. If you’d like help figuring out new ways of doing things give me a call. We’ll dive in to find how you do what you do and why you do it. I’d love to hear from you!


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How to get the life you’ve always wanted

How to get the life you’ve always wanted

There’s just something so inspiring about the name Michele, isn’t there?

It’s no wonder this pic by Michele James of Michele James Photography inspired me to write this blog post.

This picture reminds me of what I’ve done over the last few years along my personal growth journey. I’ve gone from a depressed, anxious, angry shell of a woman to a confident badass living a Fiercely Fresh Life. 

And you can go from where you are now to your own Fiercely Fresh Life!

I know what you’re probably thinking…that’s too hard! Life is already hard enough. I can’t do that. I’ve got kids to take care of, bills to pay.

Yeah, me too.

The thing is, it’s easier than you think.

The reason I used this picture is because it depicts exactly what you need to do to get you where you want to go…look down the path to your past and find the gold nuggets.

There may not be gold nuggets right out in the open, but they are there for you to find when you go digging {and I think it’s time to get a little dirty, don’t you?}.

At one time the building in the picture was brand new and unscathed, just like the events in your life. Then life kept going, and going, and going. Your unconscious mind holds on to every memory along the way so you don’t have to consciously do it {that would be waaayyyyy too much to remember anyway}. That’s how we can suddenly remember something from our past that we haven’t given a thought to in years.

In order to learn from our past so we can move forward, we need to learn how to communicate with our unconscious minds (UCM). When we work with our UCM we’re able to release old repressed negative emotions and limiting beliefs that came from those events in our past that had an impact on us. It’s that baggage that’s holding us down and keeping us stuck.

How to live the life you've always wanted
Photo Courtesy Of Michele James Photography

It would be amazing to move one step closer to the life you keep saying you want, wouldn’t it?

Believe me, I know how scary that sounds. That’s why I’m here to help you through it. You don’t have to go it alone.

Any good sports team will tell you that the way they became as good as they are is because they had some help, their coach. Doing things as a team gets things done a whole lot faster too {just ask any kindergarten teacher}. 

So take a look at this beautiful picture and see if you can find the gold nuggests that are hidden within. There’s a past rich with history and gold, just like yours. Then call me. I’ll get out my pick axe and come help you mine for treasure.

Ready to get dirty and mine for gold?

Shoot me an email or schedule your free consult. You don’t have to go it alone.


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Still trying to balance life? Here’s what to do instead.

Still trying to balance life? Here’s what to do instead.

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Just like these stairs are pieces that get us somewhere, the things we do in life get us where we want to go. Figuring out how each piece fits into place helps us create ease, grace and flow {and who doesn’t want that?!?!}.

Each stair works harmoniously with the next to get us to our destination, right? That’s how each area of our life, and each of our 4 bodies {more on that in a minute}, work too. They say it’s the journey not the destination, so during the journey we need to make everything work in harmony.

There’s a totally different energy to harmony too. There’s a sense that the effort we’re putting in to what we’re doing will lead us to great rewards, and the greatest reward is a beautiful dance where everyone and everything is coordinated and aligned.  That sounds a hell of lot more fun than “balance” to me.

But how do we get there?

I’ve got 5 tips for you that will help you step off the fulcrum and start dancing your way to a fun and Fiercely Fresh Life.

Tip #1: Be grateful for the things in your life.

We’ve all heard about how an attitude of gratitude can change your life. It’s true. Sometimes though, it’s hard to be grateful for a full plate. My suggestion is to reframe how you look at that plate. There may be a lot there, and you GET to create and participate in life rather than HAVE to get shit done. Wayne Dyer said it best, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Boom! New lenses help us see more clearly.

Tip #2: Try on different routines

We all have routines for the things we do. Routines help us have some structure to our lives so we don’t have our heads in the clouds all the time. If a routine starts to get a little too mundane for you, switch things up a bit. I tried so hard to get up in the morning and get my workout done, then meditate, then get ready, then get the boys up, then…then…then…

I realized that I need to wake the hell up before doing much of anything so I’ve started getting up and moving around the house a bit {quietly of course, shhhhh, don’t wake the kids yet!!!!}. By allowing myself at least half an hour to actually wake up before jumping into my routine, I’ve been more motivated to keep that routine going. Boom! It’s all about flexibility.

Tip #3: Prioritize

Ahhhhh…the to-do list. You know the one that never seems to get shorter, only longer. We all have these too. There are only so many hours in the day so we need to figure out a way to get the important shit done {I fed the kids yesterday, do I really have to do it again today?}

Sit down with your list on a regular basis and connect with it. Take a look at the tasks that are on it and figure out what needs to be done now, what can wait until later, and what can you ask for help with {OMG!!! Did she just say ask for help?!?! Yes, yes I did. But that’s for another day and another blog post}. Make columns down the page and put each task into the appropriate column. Boom! Taking back your power.

Tip #4: Boundaries

Oh boy! Do you even know what boundaries are? I’ve posted about them on my FB page. You should check it out.

According to Websters Dictionary a boundary is something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent. There are other definitions that come about from the psychology arena, but this one, for me, is the simplest and easiest to understand. It’s pretty self-explanatory.

The thing is we have to set boundaries with ourselves as much as we do with others. I have set a general goal for myself to be more productive. In order to do that I had to set the boundary with myself that I would only play games on my phone for 30 minutes a day. I still found myself stepping over my own boundary and getting distracted, so I set an even clearer boundary and took all game apps off my phone.

When we set boundaries we’re acknowledging what’s ok with us and what’s not. If we allow those boundaries to be stepped over, we end up full of resentment, or worse yet, beating ourselves up. The thing is, we need to take a look at how we allowed the boundary to be stepped over in the first place. Were we trying to people please again? {Not that I ever did anything like that.} Were we distracting ourselves from something deeper?

Get clear on your boundaries, for yourself and others, and have the courage to enforce them. That courage is already within you, so go find it {If you need help, let me know. It’s what I do.}

Tip #5: Be mindful of all four of your bodies

Did you know you have three bodies other than your physical body? You have your spiritual body, your mental body, and your emotional body. All four bodies are connected, deeply. Starting with your spiritual body, any dis-ease runs down hill, meaning that when your physical body starts to shows disease, the ailment has been around for a while, it’s just now getting down to the bottom of the totem pole.

That’s how I was diagnosed with breast cancer. My spiritual, mental, and emotional bodies were so broken and battered. My poor physical body couldn’t keep everything afloat anymore. The lump I found was directly over my heart, the thing I was most disconnected from. My mental and emotional states were full of depression and anxiety. It’s because I didn’t have a belief system, other than gloom and doom.

I fought the cancer physically of course, and I also found ways to fight it with spiritual, mental, and emotional healing. I’m six and a half years cancer free and it’s because I treated the whole me.

When making decisions, tackling your to-do list, spending time with those you love, pretty much anything you do, be mindful of how it’s effecting your spiritual body, your mental body, your emotional body, and your physical body.

There you have it. Easy and effortless ways to get off the teeter totter and start dancing your way to harmony and YOUR Fiercely Fresh Life.

Need help putting these tips into practice?

Contact me today for your free Clarity Call.


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Cause or effect. Which one are you?

Cause or effect. Either way, whether we want to believe it or not, we are at cause for everything in our lives. The good AND the bad.

In this video I share the equation that will help you see the results you want, the excuses you use that keep you stuck, and give you the opportunity to consciously choose which one you want to follow.

Be the alligator!

Now that you know the equation and have written down your excuses, refer to them every day. Keep them handy so you can refer to them often. When you know which excuse you’re using, it’s much easier to shift to a more positive action. Action is the only way you’re going to get the life you want. That’s being the co-creator.

 

Ready to find out more?

Speaking of more positive action…do you need to make some serious changes in your life so that you are the cause of all the greatness that shows up? Hit the button to schedule your free Orientation Call. Your extraordinary life is waiting.


Extraordinary life waiting…

Does this idea of taking responsibility make you a little afraid? I know it did with me at first. I’d love to help you see how powerful this concept is. Come follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and subscribe to my YouTube channel and I’ll show you that it’s not so scary after all.